


Broken Doll

by Kyu_Momo



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Gen, Horror, Implied Past suicides, Spoilers, Supernatural - Freeform, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Travel, mention of suicide, mentions of past murder-suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-03 04:51:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyu_Momo/pseuds/Kyu_Momo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lorelai has reset Luke's time over and over in a vain attempt to correct the world's never-ending spiral into total destruction... by using the only being capable of changing history. Unfortunately, Lorelai failed to factor in one crucial detail: his vital tool was only a child. A child that could only take so much loneliness, pain, death, and despair before he finally snapped. A what-if AU time-travel snippet fest. (For whenever my muse attacks me.)  :3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End?

**Author's Note:**

> The plot bunnies attacked me and I felt like writing. Well, in any case here is the result. So... Enjoy? :3  
> Oh and I don't own TOA. Obviously.
> 
> I wrote a kinda-sorta second part of this timeline that is a bit Loopy and in first person POV.  
> If anyone is curious and wants me to post it, let me know.

Always the unknown. Always the inconsistencies.

Perhaps Lorelai's pet doll would have fared better if said sentient being was actually able to consistently land him at the beginning? Or at least before the pivotal action that had sent him and Tear to a sprawling valley of flowers and hills.

There had been one time when Lorelai had indeed rewound Luke to just a few hours before that moment. Though perhaps if it had been his first attempt at changing the history, then maybe Luke would have actually played his part as the ignorant, spoiled brat. Maybe he would have bided his time, waiting for the perfect places to change his mistakes. Their mistakes.

But by then it had been too little, too late for the red-headed boy to just suck it up and stick to the script. He just couldn't stomach letting himself save that manipulative walking corpse from his rightful fate as a splotch of gore in a conveniently located ditch.

After all, a few hours of brooding in his cage was more than enough time to find a pointy object and ram it into Van's widened eyes.

All Hell broke loose after that. Oh how his not-mother had cried when they had decided on his punishment. He didn't bother defending himself or trying to explain his actions. No one had ever believed him before no matter how much he had tried to convince them and why should they? Even Luke couldn't believe the reality of it himself sometimes. Though, to their credit, he probably shouldn't have been laughing so much after the deed had been done...

At any rate, Luke had to relive the horrors of Akzeriuth again on more than one occasion, at different points, with slightly different outcomes, but all with the same general results: crushing failure. One of those times had him enter the timeline during his Hyperresonance already going out of control. Lorelai's power wasn't all knowing after all, and every trip through time cost energy from reserves that weren't very stable to begin with. Luke still hated him most of the time regardless of that assumption. And that particularly Hellish incident had turned what had already been blazing anger into blinding rage. He hadn't stopped screaming and slashing until a blade had finally slit his throat. Or had it? Luke was still alive to "try, try again" so he supposed not.

But the Belkend Laboratory was the ending. The One True Ending that Luke had been desperately searching for all along.

He didn't know the time. It was dark. The guards at the entrance hadn't been alive for long and neither had those unlucky enough to encounter him as he wandered the complex. They didn't matter. Only the God Generals and Van mattered. And they were ALL inside.

Arietta was first. Her pets hadn't even had a chance to protect her. The creatures were dead almost as soon as their master was, all three bursting red as his yellow aura melted their vital organs out of existence in the blink of an eye. At some hazy point in time after the fact, a faceless scientist had shouted, "She was just a child!" from behind his blood soaked back.  
A few moments later he whispered to the faceless corpse, "So was I."

Largo was next. The locket around his neck being disintegrated by some unnaturally blinding force was his only clue that something was wrong before he became a screaming mess of red.

Sync had actually realized Luke was there. He swiped at him with his impressive speed but unfortunately for the masked doll, Luke's Hyperresonance was faster.

He _allowed_ Dist to see him. He _allowed_ Dist the chance to scream. Luke then allowed himself the ghost of a smile.

Legretta found herself with a hole through her abdomen much wider than Luke had intended. She may have gotten some shots off if he was to be honest. He didn't really remember. But those fast projectiles were easy enough to erase either way. As was she.

Van and Asch were together.  
He ended them together, excruciating and slowly, but together nonetheless.

And then when the people he knew finally arrived to see the carnage he had painted across the town...

...he chuckled miserably in response to their shock, his blood shot eyes streaming tears and his body trembling violently...

...and then finally, after so much anguish, regret, shame, and hatred, _finally_...

Luke ended himself.


	2. I'm a thief?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorelai's inconvenient timing strikes... yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next snippet is probably going to seem like mood whiplash compared to the dark first chapter.. It's kinda loopy and bit humorous in nature. Also: first person POV like I mentioned it would be. 
> 
> EDIT: I switched it to third person to hopefully make it less jarring. Not sure if I prefer the first person version but I'll leave it like this for a while. I keep proofreading, looking for mistakes but I'm not sure if I missed any. Feel free to let me know if I missed any "I's, me's" etc that aren't in italics. Italics are his thoughts, in case you guys didn't realize that. ^^
> 
> Oh plot bunnies... what are you doing to me? o.0  
> 

* * *

Luke groggily blinked a few times while fighting back the urge to gasp as he came back to reality in another part of the timeline... yet again. And did someone just shove him?

“Rose! We’ve got trouble!” A loud male voice from behind.  
A quick glance around had Luke feeling like he recognized this place. Yeah. he definitely recognized it...

_Hmm... This looks like..._

It was modest room with a solid wood table in the middle, a few chairs, stairs leading up in the back, a small kitchen off the left side, and a fairly large and dusty pink-colored rug under the table to top it all off.

“Hush! We've got an important guest from the military here. Calm down!” Rose said sternly.

_Oh... right. That’s the mayor of this place. What was this town called again?_

“How can we be calm?! We caught him! We caught the guy stealing food!” That voice came from a woman in the growing crowd behind Luke. 

_Oh. Ohhhh... Wow, Lorelai. Seriously?_

“Well, this is a first.” Luke drawled, scratching the back of his head lazily. He noticed Tear’s questioning glance out of the corner of his eye.

“Rose! This guy may be with the Dark Wings!” The loud man speaks again from behind... Or something.

“He's got to be responsible for all the food getting stolen lately!” Another loud guy.

 

...And that was when Luke finally noticed Jade standing in the back a little ways behind the mayor.

 

Luke was being spoken to if the obnoxious voices around him were anything to go by, but he couldn't hear anything anymore except the rushing blood in his ears and the thudding of his heartbeat. It may as well have been pitch black all of a sudden too. Hells in a hand basket, maybe it really was... And Oh gods why wouldn't they shut up already?!

_Screams. So many screams. Blood. Always. Death. So many deaths... Fire. Rubble. Evil. Pain. So much pain I can’t even breathe! Life. Life! His fault. **My fault.** No. No, no, no, no, no..._

_HISFAULT HISFAULT HISFAULT HISFAULT HISFAULT!_

“Luke? What are you doing!” Tear shouted somewhere from behind him.

Luke's sudden assault was fierce and without any warning whatsoever.

_But this is Jade, we are talking about here. He’s not exactly easy to kill. But then again... Neither am I..._

The first swipe went straight for Jade's neck and was blocked by Jade's instant-spear just as quickly. Had Luke been in control of himself, he would have noticed that he wasn't holding the wooden sword he was supposed to have at this time.

_Well, let’s face it... I don't think I've ever been in control anymore, but unfortunately for Jade, that means I’m not that stuck-up and disgustingly **weak** brat he had met the first time. _

Luke launched Jade backward with enough force that his momentum alone would have almost certainly crushed his spine had his back actually connected with the wall. Instead Jade gracefully flipped himself to land on his feet then rolled to the left near the stairs when Luke jumped after him. The wall exploded outward when Luke's kick collided with it, making a sizable hole in it and sending shards of wood and dust every which way. That action coaxed a few screams out of the peanut gallery behind them.

Jade then rolled away from Luke's subsequent lunge-swipe that destroyed a lovely wooden chair in the way. The noise from the peanut gallery was getting even louder too; Luke could hear the Mayor trying to calm them down. 

A few more blows were exchanged and blocked before Luke had to alter his momentum to avoid Tear’s staff clocking him on the head. The rest of the clash was a blur of Luke's blade, Jade's spear, her staff, a few trails of blood ( _hah! I cut you, you bastard!_ ), and finally ending with the wooden table becoming a splintered mess.

Luke was pretty out of it, mind and rage only focused on Jade, but he must have avoided quite a few more of Tear's attempts to intervene judging by her "I’m-so-not-happy-with-you-now" reaction. Luke was just glad she hadn't thought to use that damn sleep song yet--Oh, never mind. Tear was singing now and Luke's eyes were suddenly drooping with fatigue.

Oh well.

_Just kill me already and be done with it. I’m sick of this._

* * *

“Oh? Well, in that case perhaps I will.” Muffled voices.  
“I was joking.”  
“Hm.”

The first thing Luke saw when he managed to pry his eyes open was an eyeful of Tear. Though, for some reason, Luke's first thought wasn't, ‘Oh wow, she looks pissed,’ Or ‘Huh. Why am I still alive?’ or, ‘Has Jade actually gone soft?’  
Nope. Instead it was...

“I hope I didn't kill Rose this time...” Luke groaned out.  
_Dammit brain!_

“Excuse me?!” Yup, Tear was pissed.

“Did I at least maim Jade?” It would be a first...  
_Oh wow. Yeah brain... You’re on a roll. Keep it up._

“How did you... Wait. What did you just say?” Tear’s expression was almost comical.

And then... Jade stepped into view.  
Luke would have lunged at him if he wasn't tied to a bed. Okay, strike that. Luke  _tried_ to... but he barely budged. Damn.  
_Well? C’mon brain. Do something._

“Balfour.” Luke hissed through clenched teeth.  
_Aww dammit._

Wow. Jade had actually narrowed his eyes at that. Luke didn't catch Tear’s reaction though; Jade had the full attention of Luke's glare.

“Hm. I don’t believe we've been properly introduced.” Jade said evenly, not missing a beat. Luke really hated how quickly the guy always recovered his composure... Trying to analyze Jade was like waiting for a wall to move. “And you are...?”

“I never had a name.”

“Oh? Your companion says otherwise.” He made a slight gesture in Tear’s direction.

“I’ll bet.” Speaking of which, Luke turned his head to the left to look at her. She was sitting in a rickety wooden chair that had been pulled haphazardly up next to Luke's bed. Her expression was a jumbled mix of confused, irritated, and exasperated. “Hi, Tear.”


	3. I'm a Liar?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unwanted memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My TOA muse attacked me again. This is the weird result.  
> Inspiration for the flashback came from a response to a question that Jade answers in Apakoha's Promethes Mneme.
> 
> And once again this is probably going to seem like mood whiplash. Also back to third person again.

 

* * *

 

 

_Luke awoke to pain._

_There was no hiding his return to consciousness from the observant colonel, Lorelai knows, Luke had failed enough times at it to learn by now that it was pointless to try. Instead, Luke settled on groaning and letting his eyes flutter open slowly, straining against the chains halfheartedly as Jade’s narrowed eyes came into focus._

_“Ah good. I was getting tired of waiting.” Jade informed him. Luke really wished he still had the strength to wipe that nonchalant look off his face. Being strapped to the bolted steel chair at the end of the tiny, dark room didn't help matters either. “Are you feeling more talkative now, perhaps?”_

_**I trusted you.** _  
_**I may not have liked you much when my first journey began, Jade, but I** did **trust you...**_  
 _**Even when I had learned that you were the reason I was born, I** still **didn't hate you.**_  
 _**But now...**_

_Jade sighed and shook his head. “I suppose it was worth a try. Now then...”_

_Jade was incredibly skilled at causing as much pain as possible without actually causing any visible physical damage. Luke could never actually see what Jade was even doing to him. The colonel sat in the chair placed directly across from him, sitting still, hands folded at his lap, posture relaxed, while calmly observing his victim with cold and calculating eyes. But he never actually moved his arms much nor did he speak, two precursors to Fonic Artes if any of their past battles were to go by. Granted, Luke didn't know that much about Fonic Artes so he was probably wrong._

_Either way it didn't really matter that much. The pain still came regardless of whether he understood its cause or not._

_And to think that Luke had thought he would have been able to hold back the screams when he had first been brought there. That he wouldn't talk..._

_But oh how he had screamed. Oh how he had talked._  
 _He didn't even know what gibberish had come bubbling out of his mouth whilst in the throes of agony, but it didn't seem to be anything that Jade, or by extension, the Emperor had wanted to know._

_When the first wave was finally done, Luke fell limp against the restraints, shuddering and gasping for breath._

_**You didn't like me. I knew that. You hated me and I certainly deserved to be hated.** _  
_**I get that. But I still don’t understand why.**_  
 _**I was so lost... and you had always been so smart.**_  
 _**I figured you would have known what to do.**_

_Jade was going full-out quite early that day. Perhaps the lack of answers to the intriguing puzzle set before him had finally made him impatient? Either way, the second wave was even worse. Luke clenched his teeth and shut his eyes, throwing his head back in helpless anguish. All he could do was shriek himself hoarse through the onslaught._

_**I was childish and naive.** _  
_**I was selfish.**_  
 _**My ignorance cost tens of thousands of people their lives.**_  
 _**I know I deserve this.**_  
 _**But did it have to be** you...?_  
 _**I can’t handle this...**_

_By the third wave he was trembling violently. Jade still sat calmly , unmoved by his plight while he coldly demanded the information that Luke had so foolishly hinted at weeks before. Jade was just doing his job. Luke knew that. But that knowledge didn't make it hurt any less._

  
_**Please...**_  
 _**No more...**_  
 _**I can’t bear this anymore!**_

_By the fourth wave he was sobbing uncontrollably._

_**Please...** _

 

* * *

 

“Hi, Tear.”

She sighed and shook her head, exasperated. “Hello, Luke.”

Luke forced himself to look away from Jade but his peripheral vision was working against him this time, instead he desperately focused on Tear. Anything to shy away from the rising bile of panic and sickness. He had been doing a decent job of keeping calm all things considered, but all bets were off as soon as he had seen the Colonel. The memories had come and his temporary bravado had fled along with them. Now, his mind was raging, screaming, and sobbing all at once. The noise was deafening and he couldn't think. He couldn't move and Jade had him trapped. He was trapped!

_Trapped! Trapped! Get Out! Run! Trapped!_

Focus. He had to focus.

“Where am I?” He asked Tear.

“Engave.” Jade replied.

Luke fought down the urge to tremble from the jolt of shock that Jade’s voice incited within him and took a few deep breaths with his eyes still on Tear. He would compose himself. He could do this. He _would_ get over this. “Whereabouts in Engave?” Luke clarified.

“The Inn.” Jade replied again. Strangely there was no amusement in his voice. Luke would have thought this situation would have amused him. Another puzzle needed breaking, didn't it? Despite himself, Luke was curious. He fought the fear and looked at Jade again, fighting off the flinch as their gazes met. Jade didn't look smug. He didn't look amused. Confusing... Luke... Luke didn't know what that current look meant for him and then the fear came again just as quickly. Luke choked back the panic.

He had to calm down.

He could do this.

Jade finally broke the silence, “I’d appreciate if you’d be so kind as to explain exactly what all that had been about. I could very easily have you arrested. The only reason you’re not in a cell is because the Mayor requested otherwise.”

“I’d also appreciate an explanation, Luke.” Tear added.

_Not again... Not again..._

“Would you believe me... if I said that I had thought you were someone else?”

Jade raised an eyebrow in reply, not the least bit impressed. “Oh really. Then who might that have been?”

_You! It had been you!_

Luke swallowed. “I’m sorry for attacking you. I wasn't thinking straight. Can you let me go now? I won’t cause any more trouble. I promise. ”

The discussion lasted for a while longer. Tear and Jade asked questions, Luke answered them vaguely or did his best to avoid them entirely, all the while with apologies inserted somewhere in between. After a while of this back-and-forth Luke was reluctantly released from his restraints with Tear promising to keep an eye on him. Not because they believed him but because Jade had more pressing business to attend to and couldn't be bothered to waste any more time on such petty matters.  

Luke knew this was the time when the Fon Master had gone to the Cheagle Woods. Tear still looked irritated with him, and he couldn't really blame her for that. He’d have been irritated with himself too.

But Luke knew he had to get to Cheagle Woods.

Luke wanted to see Mieu again.  
The only one that had never abandoned him.


	4. I'm a Friend?

* * *

 

The forest was beautiful in Luke’s eyes.

As cliche as it sounds, it might as well have been bathed in heavenly light for all that it symbolized to him.

His only real friend was here. Right in front of him.

The gathering of Cheagles in front of the group had many differently colored creatures among it, and the elder, of course, stood in the middle. And many more still were the color of Mieu, light blue with tufts of white for ear tips. But Luke knew immediately where his only friend was. Luke’s eyes found Mieu among the creatures and looked at little else until the Sorcerer’s Ring was transferred to him after the Elder had explained their new troubles and Mieu’s role in starting them.

Unlike the many times Luke had experienced this moment before, he said nothing. Tear and Ion spoke the lines he remembered from many times past but Luke did not add his disgustingly callous drivel to the mix. Self loathing and guilt filled him as he remembered how horrible he had been to Mieu on so many timelines. Did he really deserve him now?

Emotion shimmered in his eyes, but Luke brushed it away quickly before either Tear or Ion could see it. The urge to cry was overwhelming and it took everything he had not to burst into relieved tears right then and there.

No, he still didn't deserve him. But Luke would do everything in his power to be worthy of him for once.

“My name's Mieu. Pleased to meet you.” 

_My friend..._

“Likewise,” Luke said softly.

 

* * *

 

On the way passed the river, heading to the Liger den, Luke had allowed Mieu to travel on his shoulder. When battles with the local wildlife broke out Mieu would keep his distance before Luke once again beckoned for him to perch on his shoulder. The emotion still ran high though, so he didn't speak unless spoken to. He couldn't trust his voice to cooperate without cracking and if that happened he doubted he’d be able to keep his temper in check when the slew of questions started.

As much as Luke wished he could forget... he could not bring himself to. These _were_ the people that had abandoned him at a moments notice and they could do so at anytime. Though Ion was not at fault, per se, it still didn't change the fact that he had died in every timeline no matter the circumstances.  Letting himself get attached to him would only bring more pain and Luke couldn't bear the thought of _more_ pain to add to the ocean he already drowned in.

Mieu was and always had been the only constant, barring that one and only time Dist had murdered him because Luke had been careless. Dist had never been forgiven and he would be killed on sight. But that was neither here nor there...

Luke would protect his only friend with his life.

And as always, the Liger Queen could not be reasoned with and quickly became a threat. Luke rolled his eyes.

For all the intelligence that the Cheagles had, the Ligers might as well have been their exact opposite: mere brain-dead animals ripe for the slaughter. The queen always chose suicide by blade.  Such a foolish creature.  Luke could not stop the laugh that bubbled in his throat and spilled out harshly in the cave as he lunged for the all-too-easy opening mere seconds after the battle had begun, the Queen’s roar that shook the den notwithstanding.

His wooden sword speared through the vulnerable Liger Queen’s bare eye and then he removed his sword with an explosive jerk, the power behind his movement sent gore, brain matter, and pieces of broken skull splattering the den walls in an explosion of light and the Liger Queen’s corpse slumped to the floor soon after. The wooden sword, unfortunately, couldn't handle the power he had used and quickly shattered, for a lack of a better term, raining splinters of wood all over the messy floor. Thankfully the sword had waited until after the deed was done in an amusing delayed reaction if nothing else. Luke rolled his eyes again and looked at the now useless, splintery mess that was left of the hilt in his hand before he chucked it behind him to meet the Liger Queen’s remains. And that, as they say, was that.

Luke noticed Jade’s arrival behind Tear and Ion but ignored him and looked to his little blue friend instead, gaping at him as they were a little ways in front of them. Though Mieu looked to be in awe rather than solemn and calculating.

The amusement on his face was quickly wiped out as he saw the rubble falling towards Mieu.  He cursed his lack of foresight.  How could he have forgotten!

He was there in seconds and swiped at the rubble with his bare hand, his power once again defying basic common sense and crushed the rubble to cobblestones in midair and the force of his swing sent the broken pieces to the left and clattering as the chunks hit walls and floor. Luke was shaken, his carelessness had almost cost him his friend again! He couldn't handle losing him... Not again... Emotion came violently to his eyes and he furiously wiped at it.

“Are you alright, Mieu?” With urgency, he grabbed for Mieu’s fuzzy little form with shaking hands to look him over for injuries but was quickly stopped by the intense pain. He gasped and retracted his damaged hand on reflex. Luke felt annoyed at his nerves for he could not stop shaking and Tear easily subdued him when she grabbed at his shoulders, he crumbled to his knees trying to get himself under control. His friend’s plight drove everything else from his mind and the near miss rattled him to the core.

“Luke, stop struggling!”  Tear exclaimed as she wrestled with him to keep him from moving his damaged hand further.

Yulia damn these tears! He swiped for them again with his good hand as Tear went to work on healing his broken hand, Luke's eyes never left Mieu.

“You okay...?”  He asked the Cheagle.

“Yes!  T...thank you.”  Mieu’s eyes were still wide with awe.

Tear fussed more and his hand was quickly set and healed with her hymns.  Still shaking, Luke finally remembered the eggs.  “We need to break her eggs...” 

“Allow me,”  Jade said and stepped forward to see to it.

Mieu was on his shoulder again as he stood and his friend’s warm weight was reassuring. Luke felt his body finally relax and he gently pet Mieu’s fur, thankful that his friend did not mind the contact.

When the group and Jade began speaking and explaining amongst themselves, Luke found his mind wandering and he followed along as if in a daze. Jade spoke of looking for Ion and coming to aid in protecting him once he had learned of Ion’s whereabouts. Tear spoke of the Cheagles and explained their reasoning. Jade nodded and looked at Luke briefly. If Jade was surprised at not having to lift a finger to help this time he kept it well hidden.  Luke’s attention snapped back rather like a whip when he spotted the traitorous bitch, however.  Anise.  Hatred clouded his gaze and his mind once again erupted with deafening chaos.

_Kill her! ... enemy!  Kill her! KILL HER!_

_No. No_! Luke shook his head to try to clear it. _Nng... so loud! No._

Ion would be upset if he did. Maybe even Mieu...?  No. Ion may die and he might not be his Only True Friend, as Mieu was, but he was _still_ much kinder to Luke than the others and thus deserved Luke’s respect.

I will NOT kill her, He told himself with a finality that brooked no argument and finally the noise within his head quieted.

The anger had not left him entirely though so when Jade was admonishing Ion and Ion was guiltily apologizing, Luke spoke harshly and without thinking, “Lay off already, Balfour. No one’s dead and Ion’s still alive. The end. Case closed.”

Jade whirled to glare at him with narrowed eyes and a spark of anger, however slight, actually flickered within that normally blank expression. Luke was still too tainted with anger himself to feel the fear that action should have elicited and so he met that gaze without flinching. In fact, to the Colonel, he probably looked _bored_ instead of unhinged.

...Or maybe it was both.

“As I have just stated had you been paying attention.” Jade’s expression was back to blank again and his voice was calm. “You will refer to me as _Jade_. Or in your case, Colonel Curtiss. Nothing else. Do you understand?”

“I understand, Jade,” Luke drawled.

Jade turned back to Anise, spoke briefly with her, and then she was gone quickly. Then he turned to Ion and they spoke of a letter.  And then he was told they were going to report back to the Elder Cheagle. And _then_ Luke was briefly startled when Mieu hopped on top of his head. Luke looked up at the creature, but did not complain, smiling slightly as the Cheagle chattered happily at him. Tear, behind him now as they walked, blushed at how cute it was, a thin smile also on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: To those of you that noticed he has his wooden sword again, it was on purpose. You’ll see why eventually. ;)
> 
> Also... I could use some advice. As you guys know, Luke will kill Dist on sight in this timeline and there is no question that he has enough power to do so. The problem is that Dist shows up a lot throughout the game and thus the timelines. I’m not sure whether I should just kill him off and be done with it. I know that some people are fans of Dist so I figured I’d ask. I mean I don’t know Jade’s character well enough to judge. Would Jade let Luke slaughter his old friend or actually do something to stop him from being butchered? I just can’t see him coming to his defense seeing as later in the game he does the “killing” blow himself off the elevator. So, I’m kind of stumped. :p


	5. I'm tired

* * *

 

 

Luke was tense and drawn up, his muscles clenched and at the ready to spring into action should the need arise. His eyes were on Jade but he was not really seeing him.

No, he was seeing his betrayer. He was seeing his past torturer. Luke could almost feel that anguish again, that hopelessness and sorrow that he had almost drowned in.

 _You will not have me again,_ Luke thought desperately, the chaos shrieking in his ears and it was near deafening.  He scarcely heard the words being spoken to him. _I will not let you take me again!_

He could feel his sword if he imagined it sharply enough. If he needed it, he now knew it would come to his hand and then he would have a defense and offense against the monsters in the room threatening to tear him to pieces.

As with all of his jumbled thoughts, fear also came just as abruptly to his eyes and threatened his tears to spill. He stubbornly held them back. That terror could almost be too much for him to bear at times and so the chaos within him grasped at others: a sliver of rage and coil of adrenaline, priming him to strike should he need to.

Tear was speaking to him from the chair to his left but Luke could not hear her words. He could see Ion and the Traitor standing behind Jade’s seated form. The sight of both Anise and Jade holding him against his will in a tiny room within the Tartarus sent all his emotions roiling and he was hard-pressed to keep himself together enough to think.

The voice came again, shrilly and booming and Luke flinched in pain. 

_Why do you hesitate? **Kill** them and be done with it!  There are no friends here and you are foolish to believe them again! Fool! Kill them!  Kill...Kill... Bleed **them** before they bleed you dry!_

“Ngh!  Shut UP already!” Luke screamed, unaware that he had shouted aloud and his raised voice caused a violent reaction from both Tear and Ion. Luke did not see or hear them. He clenched his eyes shut and tears spilled forth as his hands flew up to clutch at his ears.

Darkness. Pain.

“Mas..”

He couldn't think! Gods, why wouldn't they shut up?! Peace!  He needed peace...

“Master!”

Luke blinked.  The sudden silence was almost as deafening as the chaos had been and Luke gasped, his eyes snapping open to meet that voice.

His friend was in his lap, and Mieu’s tiny, blue-furred paws clutched desperately at Luke’s shirt. Luke had been leaning forward in his seat and so Mieu’s face was very close to his.

“Mieu?”

Luke hugged his friend then, cradling the creature like a lifeline.

“Master!  Are you alright?”

“Yeah...” Luke’s voice cracked. “Yeah. You’ll stay with me right?  You won’t leave?”

The Cheagle looked confused at that question. “I’m here, Master!

Luke felt relief and peace and he gently rest his head oh Mieu’s forehead. “Thank you.”

“Are you alright?”  Ion’s voice. Luke felt his respect for the other replica deepen. Ion was very kind even when Luke hadn't deserved it. Even now, Ion looked ready to spring to Luke’s side, a potential threat to his safety as Luke was and still Ion wished to help him! He lifted his head and reluctantly sat straight and met Ion’s gaze to show him his respect.

“Yes, I’m alright now.  Sorry about that, Ion.”

Luke’s other senses returned quickly and his awareness came back in a rush.  Tear had her hand on his shoulder, Ion had made to go to Luke’s side but the Traitor had stopped him, and Jade was tense but deceptively blank faced as usual.

 _Quit being a coward,_ Luke hissed at himself. _If they attack you then, and **only** then, you may kill them. Not a moment before. Ion and Mieu deserve that much! Protect them. Protect Mieu._

If Jade or the Traitor attacked he could easily place Mieu between himself and them. With that thought, he braced himself for the mocking.

“Right then, as I was saying,” Jade looked calculatingly at Luke as if daring him to interrupt again. “We're headed for Kimlasca under orders from His Majesty, Peony the Ninth, Emperor of Malkuth.

Luke was confused. Jade didn't mock him?

“To declare war...?” Tear asked, removing her hand from Luke’s shoulder.

“We're trying to prevent a war from breaking out,” Anise said.

“Anise, that's not public information,” Jade admonished.

Luke sighed quietly in relief. They were back on script.

Jade then told them that they were free to explore provided they kept out of restricted areas. 'Learn a little of them' as Jade had put it and then hopefully join in on their peace-keeping efforts. Before he left, Jade made eye contact with Tear and an understanding was reached in that moment if Tear’s subtle nod was any indication.

Ah. She had probably agreed to babysit him. He supposed he couldn't blame Jade. He might be an enemy but he sure wasn't stupid.

“Time for a walk,”  Luke announced and stood up with Mieu carefully supported in his hands. “Would you like to come with me, Mieu?”

“Yes, Master!”  The Cheagle happily bounced up on Luke’s shoulder. “Let’s go exploring!”

“I’ll come with you if you don’t mind,” Tear said.

_Of course you will._

“Sure.”

And off they went.  Ion said he had business to attend to and wanted Luke and Tear to let him know once they've made up their minds. He left with Anise in tow.

Luke and Tear left shortly after and wandered the corridors. They found a vendor in one of the rooms and Tear insisted that they buy another sword at this time and they did so. Luke didn't really need a physical sword anymore now that he had one that could spring to his hand at a moments notice but he didn't mention it. He was long since tired of trying to explain his circumstances and then suffer through their skeptical looks and the walking-on-glass pity that accompanied it, so he accepted the sword without complaint and strapped it in the usual place at his back.

Now that he thought about it... he really didn't need a shield either.  Ever since Van’s true colors were shown time and time again Luke had abandoned the Albert style of swordsmanship that Van was so fond of. After so many bouts of violence time and time again his sword skills had developed differently and he had ironed out the reflexes Van had instilled within him and replaced them with his own tweaks. Now his honed reflexes were strictly his own. He was on par with Van in terms of swordplay and that’s all that mattered regardless if his skills were a perversion of the original or not. Though to be honest if he saw Van again he wouldn't bother playing fair.  After all, why use a sword for a kill when you didn't have to?

They meandered longer before finally reaching the deck. The sight of the rolling waves and the fresh air was a nice change of pace. Mieu’s excited chatter was infectious and Luke found himself smiling.

Ion, Anise, and Jade were on deck as well and then the conversation began as Tear and Luke walked up to meet them, once again sticking to the script that he was used to.

After a few rounds of back and forth banter, Luke finally spoke up. “I’m willing to hear you out.”

Jade studied him. Ion spoke. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Tear agreed as well.

And that was that.

Back in the “conference” room Jade explained the situation. They were on their way to deliver a letter from Emperor Peony to propose a peace treaty and Ion was acting as neutral ambassador. The Order of Lorelai was, of course, split between factions: one that supported the Fon Master, Ion and the other faction supported Grand Maestro Mohs.

And of course, Mohs, being the contemptible try-hard that he was, wanted the war and all the deaths that it would cause because, hey, Yulia’s Score said so. Luke fought the urge to roll his eyes. Jade went on to explain that, yes, they were emissaries of peace but they were still of an enemy faction and so crossing the border before Mohs’ supporters could intervene would be difficult. So they needed one Luke fon Fabre of rather high social status to make it easier. A replica doll could fool the best of them into thinking he was actually, you know, who he claimed to be (he had stolen the guy’s name when he was born after all) and so he too could be of use in telling the idiots who wanted mountains of casualties just _where_ they could shove their beloved score. Luke wanted to help Ion and so his answer was easy.

“Of course I’ll help you, Ion.”

“Thank you, Luke.”

More back and forth banter ensued which Luke tuned out with practiced ease before Jade and Ion left the room, Anise close on their heels.  Anise had spoken to Tear a few times if Luke could recall and they seemed to get along well...  but seeing as Luke all but ignored her attempts to interact with him (the only time he had spoken to her willingly had been a sharply hissed ‘don’t touch me’ when she had tried to shake his hand), Anise, thankfully, took the hint and didn't press him for discussion when given the chance. Which was fortunate for her as well as Luke. If she pressed him to talk to her, the Traitor might be signing her own death warrant. So far Luke had managed to reign in his anger for Ion’s sake but if Ion was out of sight and she felt the need to badger him he might not be able to keep his temper in check. He didn't want to hurt Ion...

All Hell broke loose soon after and sirens blared their shrill warning throughout the Tartarus. Tear and Luke met the other three in the hall.

“Bridge!  What’s going on?” Jade demanded as Tear and Luke came within earshot.

The captain quickly told of the impending monster attack, twenty or more griffins sweeping in fast from ahead of the Tartarus. The captain called for battle readiness before the Tartarus shook violently. And then they were told Ligers were being dropped on the deck by the flying rats and there were tons of them.

Arietta’s pets were always annoying like that.

Oh right and Largo was here too. Luke hopped back to avoid the scythe angling towards his head and then sword met scythe tip with a clang but at an angle that kept the tip locked at the hilt. Luke sneered at him then pushed forward with his blade, his powers once again manifesting in a flash, sending the God General reeling backward off balance. Unfortunately the God General righted himself quickly and sent a wave of rippling red energy back at Luke in response. Okay, maybe he needed a shield after all. Oh well. Too late now.

The pain momentarily had him reeling backwards himself, gasping as his own burnt flesh singed his nostrils. He blocked the brunt of the red hot energy aimed at his face but his shirt and gloves were hardly ample protection and patches burned off rather easily to meet exposed flesh. He angrily flicked his sword diagonally downward, pain be damned, to dispel the rest of the lingering and boiling energy out of existence. Jade’s building Fon Arte reached completion and exploded into existence where Largo had last been standing and Tear was already up front and at the ready, sending a healing hymn at Luke. Ion was behind them with Anise guarding him. Mieu was safely with Ion.

“Jade the Necromancer... Letting you go now will only mean trouble later,” Largo finally spoke.

“Do you think you can kill me by yourself?”

Largo’s answer was a swift throw of a tiny cube.

Largo was here to take Ion. Jade could keep Ion safe and so intercepting the Fon Slot Seal would be in Ion’s best interest. Unfortunately, even knowing it was coming, Luke didn't react fast enough and his sword swing came too late. He cursed aloud as the barrier limiting Jade’s power encircled the Colonel. The colonel hissed in pain and fell to one knee. Luke had failed and he was pissed.

He sprang forward and scythe and sword clashed yet again, but this time Luke called his other sword into existence in his free hand and he jumped and jabbed it forward almost taking Largo’s eye but missing by a hair’s breath, cutting a thin line on the God General’s cheek instead. The distraction was enough. With the next downward swing from the newly bought blade and a golden flash from the power he manifested into the other, the scythe’s blade shattered and one sword buried itself hilt-deep into the God General’s chest. Luke twisted the blade to widen the wound and then pulled it free.  Largo spluttered and coughed wetly, blood wetting his lips as he lost consciousness and crumpled to the floor.

“Ion is staying with us,” Luke told the man firmly and then hmph’d when he realized he wouldn't be getting an answer anytime soon.

_Kill him..!  KILL!_

He should...  Yes, he should... but Ion was watching. Dammit if only Ion wasn't watching!

He sheathed one blade at his back and the other as well to back from whence it came.

“What... what did you do?” Tear wasn't openly gaping but she was definitely astonished and wary.

 _I’m not answering you truthfully because I’m not in the mood for your looks and your mock pity, so for Yulia’s sake **don’t** ask me again... _ A hint of the madness swirled up within him again but he clenched his teeth and forced it down. Mieu and Ion needed him. He just had to keep repeating that until it got to the point where he didn't need to remind himself anymore.

“I swung blades at the guy with the scythe.”  _You have eyes, use them,_ went unsaid. She narrowed her eyes.

Jade met Luke’s eyes and his near lethal tone offered no argument   “You _will_ explain yourself to me at a later date. I have been holding my questions back for long enough as it is.”

 _What?  So, you’ll torture me again? What a surprise._ Luke slammed the fear that rose back down as quickly as it came. _Mieu and Ion are in danger, so for Yulia’s sake, focus already, you coward!_

“Mhmm,” was Luke’s noncommittal reply. Jade glared but unfortunately didn't have the time to argue. Anise and Jade had a quick exchange and then she was moving at a swift pace down the hall with Ion in tow. Mieu bounded back to Luke and was on his shoulder soon after.

“Anise will take care of Ion. We'll take back the bridge.” Jade said.

“But your artes are sealed...” Tear said.

“Indeed. It's likely to take several months to undo this Fon slot seal. But as long as we have your hymns and Luke's sword--” Jade frowned slightly then amended, “... _sword_ **s** , we can still take back the Tartarus.”

“All right. Luke, let's go.” Tear still didn't look happy with him but he couldn't bring himself to care.  He nodded and followed her down the hall in the opposite direction that Anise and Ion had taken.

 

 

* * *

 

The griffons and ligers were easy prey thanks to the combined efforts of the three and they made it to the bridge relatively quickly all things considered. Tear put the guard to sleep with one of her Fonic hymns. Luke didn't take the chance that Jade would actually ask him to come with them instead of having him wait outside for them this time around so he spoke up instead. “I’ll wait out here.”  Jade thankfully didn't argue and then they both agreed before they disappeared inside.

Good. He needed time to catch his breath. The weariness instilled in him because of the situation and the near-constant battle with his inner voices was finally starting to become too much to bear.  He hugged Mieu quietly and the Cheagle accepted the gesture again without complaint.

Minutes of peace were all he had before the soldier that had once been his first kill woke from slumber and attacked him.

“Die!”

Luke sighed and evaded the pitifully slow sword swipe and then quickly punched the guy, sending the man sprawling. “I really don’t want to kill you. Can you just go away?”

Kill... Kill!  KILL! Kill... KILL!

So noisy.. Luke felt the madness rearing again and bit back a sob. He needed quiet already! He was so tired...

“If you're scared of killing, then throw away your sword, you worthless reject!”

Oh. Right. _Him_. Luke had almost forgotten.

The chaos was back and roaring now that _he_ was here.. Luke wanted to cry he was so tired of all this noise and nonsense!

Why wouldn't they all just be quiet and let him be alone with the peace he so craved?  Why did he have to do this time and time again? Gods damned Lorelai... He was tired... Tears sprang to his eyes but he refused to let them fall.  The chaos was back and the noise was deafening again. He whispered to Mieu to stay back and be safe. Mieu did so.  

Large slabs of ice twinkled and shone bright in the sunlight before they flew at him. Luke was too tired to argue with it all right now and flicked his wrist lazily in a horizontal line in front of him. The spell disappeared as if it had never been there.

Asch’s eyes widened and then the hatred for his replica was back again and he was readying another assault.

“Well, if it isn't Van’s little pet bitch.” Luke said softly and then promptly wanted to cry. He was so frustrated and angry and hurt and tired!  Yulia damn it all...  “Don’t you ever get tired of being angry at me all the time?  You only have yourself to blame for your problems. Not me.” _No, just Van._ It was always the same with Luke... or "Asch", as he had chosen to be called now. It tended to get confusing sometimes.

 “Silence!” Asch yelled, beyond thinking now as Luke's words enraged him. Again with the anger. Luke was fed up and thinking was becoming harder and harder.  Yulia damned madness...

_Why do you wait... Kill him! KILL!  Kill them all!_

“Shut up,” Luke whispered, massaging his temples.

The other man was yelling a battle charge. Asch was running to attack him as well.

Luke’s patience for the situation had ended.

Luke snapped.

The man was messily cleaved in two as Luke whirled at him and he swung his not-really-physical-blade in a diagonal upward arc.  The flash of energy that streaked out in a line of golden light from his swing streamed out and met the man’s waist with a sizzling ‘shing!’ of sound and the man's death followed soon after.  And then Luke was dodging the rain of blows from his relentless original. Why did they always rush to die?  Why couldn't they just leave him alone already?

_Then kill him! Kill the raging beast...  KILL!_

Luke was too tired to reply.

He sighed, tears threatening to spill again but he managed to keep his mind on the battle.

“Luke!”

Ah. Tear and Jade had finally arrived. Honestly... what had taken them so long?  They were usually a lot faster than this.

Asch, seeing the new threat, lashed out at Luke who then had to dodge backward to escape it, giving Asch the time he needed to lob another Fon Arte at Jade who was closer than Tear was. Jade promptly dodged it, spear at the ready.

“And you're as hard to kill as they say, Necromancer.” Asch commented. His voice was tinged with more anger as usual.

“Give it a rest already,” Luke sighed. And Asch snarled and they were locked in battle once again.

Enough was enough.  Time to end this.

And then two things happened at once.  First, Luke managed to knock Asch’s sword away and it clattered noisly to the floor.  Second, two bullets pierced just below both of his knees before he could act on his opponent’s handicap. Luke screamed and crumbled and his hands came out hastily to keep himself from cracking his skull on the cold floor. Blinking back tears of pain, he cursed himself once again.  Honestly... how had he forgotten? Lagretta was there too.  He sighed, resignedly. At least she hadn't aimed directly at his kneecaps.

Tear yelled but he didn't hear her.

Lagretta aimed one of her guns at the spot directly between his eyes. And the other was aimed at Jade, who promptly realized there would be no easy escape without potential casualties.

Luke was tired and he was sick of this farce. Maybe he could goad his idiot original into killing him right here and now? Hell, maybe he could try it with Lagretta. Nah, he doubted she’d even blink. Asch was a better bet. But then Luke _really_ thought about it... He bit back more tears and shook against the pain in both body and mind. Why bother?  Lorelai would just bring him back again. He was doomed to repeat this for as long as Lorelai wanted him to. And apparently slaughtering the God Generals and Van wasn’t even good enough for Lorelai to count the timeline as a “success”! What the hell did Lorelai even _want_ from him?! A sob escaped his throat and bitter tears finally fell.

_Fool! What are you doing? KILL them all!_

And that obnoxious voice wouldn't shut up either. He couldn't have any peace, could he? Another sigh, this time one of defeat. “Well?  What are you waiting for?”  Luke asked as calmly as he could manage, leveling his question at Lagretta not the always-angry teen recovering his sword.

More soldiers took the time to arrive, joining the two that were already with Lagretta.

“Captain, what shall we do with them?” One of the soldiers asked.

“Kill them,” Asch answered.

“Asch. Have you forgotten your orders? Or have you just decided to ignore them?” Lagretta inquired.

“Fine. Restrain them and lock them in a cabin somewhere!”

Asch moved to enter the bridge but, foolish decision made, Luke spoke up before he could enter.  “Running away?”

As per usual, Asch’s anger made him predicable.  He stalked forward and backhanded him harshly, making Luke land roughly on his side.

He couldn't help it. 

He burst out laughing despite the pain.

“Really now... is that the best you can do?” Asch’s enraged reaction made him laugh harder and harder until he was sobbing and shaking with hysteria.

Tear was calling his name again and Luke was kind of surprised that she still cared. He was a crazy, homicidal brat after all.

Frankly, he didn't care anymore. He was exhausted, he was in pain, he was crushed. So what if they killed him? Oh well. He just  _didn't care_ anymore.

The blow came and then the relief of darkness rushed up to meet him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... should I up the rating up to mature just to be safe? I mean... it hasn't been too bad so far but I'm not sure.


	6. Trust?

Luke awoke slowly. The darkness of peace and relief was peeling away and he didn’t want it to leave him yet.

“He’s waking up.”

_No. I don’t want to wake up... Just let me sleep. Please?_

The first thing he saw was the bare white ceiling when he finally found the strength to open his eyes. Next he noticed the bars and that he was lying on a cot in the corner. And lastly he saw Mieu’s face and then Tear and Jade’s a little ways behind Mieu.

“Master!”

“Ah good. You’re finally awake,” Jade said.

Tear must have healed him quite thoroughly because he didn't feel much pain. Only twinges of dull ache shot around his lower legs where the bullet wounds had been when he went to sit up.

“What on earth were you thinking!  Were you trying to get yourself killed?” Tear exclaimed as soon as she was sure he was stable.

_Yes. Yes, I was. As much good as it would have done._

“I  _wasn't_  thinking,” he sighed. Maybe if he just admitted it he could stave off the questions that were sure to follow.

“Then what happened!  How did that soldier die? Did _you_ do that?”

Apparently not.  Luke sighed again and held his head in his hands.  Even with that glorious bout of rest he was still exhausted. Why wouldn't this just end already?  Hadn't he suffered enough? Yes, he was no longer that spoiled, selfish brat he once was but... couldn't he be at least a _little_ selfish? He could not do this anymore. He  _couldn't_.

“Yes, I did.” He answered.

“How?” Tear demanded.

Luke couldn't handle this anymore!

“I just did, _gods dammit_!” he shouted in frustration. “Who the hell _cares_ how he died? _Why_ does it matter? I can’t do this anymore!  Can’t you see that!” Oh dammit he was crying again... Tears.  He always seemed to be crying nowadays.  Like a little baby!  If Jade made a crack about him being a baby he was killing himself right here and now like he should have done earlier!

Tear looked angry and affronted but she didn't respond.

“It _matters,_ Luke, because you have gone against every reasonable expectation I've had, and I daresay Tear feels the same way.” Jade said, calmly, carefully. Tear nodded.

Not a trace of any mocking again.  No telling  him off, no sneering at how childish he was being. Was this really Jade?

“You are, for all intents and purposes, a young noble that has been isolated all your life.  You told us as much. Frankly, I was expecting a spoiled brat with little knowledge of the world and little-to-no experience with actual battle.” Again, Jade was speaking calmly but patiently. There was no sarcasm, no jeers, and not even any of that condescending attitude that Luke was used to.

Through his tears, Luke managed to interrupt, “..Are... are you really, Jade?”

Jade frowned. “Do you know of any other Jades?”  The raised eyebrow. Ah. Finally. There was that signature sarcasm that Luke was used to.. Maybe... maybe it really was him and Luke wasn't dreaming...

Luke couldn't stop crying and he made no effort to try.

Jade continued, unmoved by the tears if his perfect mask was anything to go by. But frankly Luke just didn't know what to think anymore. He wasn't a mind reader and Jade had an absolutely _perfect_ poker face.  Sometimes Luke had to wonder if he was really human or if he was just some sort of automaton wrapped in human skin. “And what I found, as you know, was a young man capable of keeping up with Tear and myself, ignoring the fact that you attacked me on sight to begin with,” Jade’s eyes briefly narrowed at him and those glasses of his glinted ominously. The warning that Jade _would_ find out the ‘why’s’ eventually. Fear returned to Luke like a sledgehammer blow and he reeled inside, shaking. Bravado momentarily forgotten.  “Breaking a _hole_ through a wall with just a kick, Somehow manifesting a sword with what could only be fusion artes, capable of severely wounding a God General, and possessing knowledge that he shouldn't. Need I go on?”

“No.”  Luke said, wiping the remaining flood-works from his cheeks.

He was tired. He was desperate. What seemed like only moments ago he was ready to throw it all away and let Lorelai force him back yet again. At this point would being honest really make much difference?  Jade couldn't torture him if he was trapped in the same room with him and Tear could he...? Would he? Luke sighed.  Again, did it really matter anymore? He was sick of it all.

“I’m not telling you.  Being honest only makes things worse.  It always did before. I doubt it will change now.” He forced his voice to be steady. “So, are you going to drag me to Malkuth and torture me again? I’m not as naive anymore. I won’t go without a fight.” Luke was ready. He felt for his sword.  It was there if he needed to call it to him.

Almost at the same time both Jade and Tear spoke:

Tear gasped in affront. “What are you talking about?”

“...I’m afraid I have no idea what you are talking about. I have never met you before my visit to Engeve let alone taken you to Malkuth.”

_But he would do so again if ordered to. He **will** take you again. Fool!  Letting them trick you so easily!  Have you learned **nothing** yet!?_

The voice was back again and he flinched, shaking his head to clear it.

“I’m not telling you anything.” Luke said, firmly now. He was ready if Jade went to attack.

But nothing happened. Jade was starting to look bored. Hell, he probably thought he was as crazy as Luke believed himself to be. _...since when have I ever cared what he thought?_ “And no, I don’t care if you think I’m crazy. I never wanted to be here. I never wanted any of this.”

Still nothing violent. Jade made no move to attack. Tear didn't either.

“Look don’t we have to get out of here? If you don’t attack me then I won’t attack you. Let’s just get out of here and then we can go our separate ways. Okay?”  Luke broke the image of bravado by bursting into tears again. The suspense was starting to wear him out already and the jumble of thoughts were becoming too much to bear. He wasn't very good with any of this crafty-thinky-planning crap that Jade excelled at. He was so _tired_!

“Luke... I’m... I’m not sure why you think we’re going to attack you,” Tear said. “I know you've had a rough couple of days.. but... Look, I promised I would get you home and I will, so please just try to trust me, okay?” She looked at Jade, clearly not sure what to say. “Right, Colonel?”

_Home?  But... I don’t have a home..._

Jade sighed, exasperated. “I haven’t threatened you yet, have I? So, I’m not sure where all of the theatrics are coming from.” He shook his head. “Are you up for more fighting?  As you say, time is of the essence and we have certainly wasted enough of it already.”

He made no mention of asking for clarification but Luke wasn't sure whether the issue was entirely forgotten. Trust? Could he really trust them...?

_They **will** abandon you, boy. You are a fool to believe their lies..._

He took a deep breath. “Yes.”

Jade nodded.  “Very well.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jade spoke the emergency code; The Tartarus became a large but temporary paperweight, and to make their escape even easier, their weapons had been lazily dumped in a room very near to their holding cell.

After that the group introduced a cargo room wall to the effects of smuggled gunpowder and Cheagle fire. Luke’s ears were still ringing and he hadn't even been that close.

Once outside, the script continued as per usual.

Legretta had Ion, the Tartarus was still a paper weight, soldiers were still suicidal, Arietta’s monsters still did all her work for her, and that Guy took the time to jump in and fix the mess.

“Arietta!” Legretta yelled.

Oh right, Jade had the brat at spear point too.

Ion was behind Guy, the same spot where Guy had dragged him to.

Tear was still ogling Legretta as if she had never seen her before.

And that suicidal guard was still oozing all over the grass.

Luke still felt numb and unsure of what to feel. Trust? No...  Never. Just the thought of it was terrifying. Even after everything they had done to him, continued to do to him, he was still clinging to that hope. The voices were right.  Had he really learned nothing?  He gripped his chest and took a few shaky breaths. Yulia, it _hurt_ to feel.

Legretta knew when she had lost and walked back inside the Tartarus without complaint. Arietta and her pet followed soon after upon Ion’s request, though the spear at her throat helped too.

“Sheesh! I looked all over for you. Never thought you'd turn up in a place like this!”

The sight of Guy almost sent Luke into yet another bout of panic. He was one of the first to befriend Luke; He was one of the last to abandon him, but Guy had always wanted him dead. He had wanted Luke dead and he was hiding it even now. It took Sync’s meddling to make him break that facade. Over and over again...  Thankfully Guy made no move to touch him.  Luke didn't know what he would do if Guy had tried to.

Conversation touched Luke’s hearing but he didn't add to it. The traitor had lost the emperor’s note. St. Binah was their rendezvous point. More than one-hundred people were dead now, trapped and lifeless inside the Tartarus.

 

Guy was horrified.

Luke was exhausted. 

 

Mieu touched a tiny paw to his face and Luke hugged him, grateful for the distraction and for his tiny friend’s reassuring warmth.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jade watched the boy walking in front of him with narrowed, calculating eyes. This child...

Jade rarely found himself at a loss for words, or heaven forbid, with wandering thoughts at such a crucial time, but this...

 

How. _How_ was this even possible?

Thoughts came in a jumble and though he scrambled to make sense of them, Jade realized that trying to rationalize this was quickly becoming a losing battle. Years of cold-hard facts, proved or scrapped hypotheses, countless experiments and written books, hell _logic itself..._ and all of a sudden this boy comes along and throws that all away without even trying.

 

The fact that this child could tear fully-armored men _apart_ without even blinking was just the icing on the logic-defying cake.

 

Dr. Jade _Balfour_. One of the first things that the walking-puzzle-before-him had outright spat in his face, multiple times in fact. It was knowledge that a sheltered, teenage noble couldn't possibly know; never mind understanding the _implications_ or why it had been uttered with such _venom_.

 

If, ** _if_** the boy truly was a Replica on the other hand, it made slightly more sense... but even that would also imply that the sheltered noble _knew_ he was a replica. Which also didn't make sense unless he had been told.

Tear’s explanation of how the boy had acted upon her first meeting with him was also to be considered.  A selfish, arrogant brat if there ever was one.  The boy hadn't even known that _money_ was needed to pay for food. Luke was clumsy with that wooden sword and arguably wouldn't have survived long if Tear had not been with him.

 

If they hadn't even bothered to teach him basic life skills then Jade sorely doubted that they would tell him of such a controversial subject instead.

 

And yet, merely a few hours later, the boy had _completely_ changed. The selfish, spoiled, _clueless_ brat had vanished.  The clumsiness may as well never had existed. With the change came knowledge and frightening power. It also didn't take a genius to realize that Luke was afraid of him. Oh Luke fought to hide that fear from Jade well enough, he supposed. Points for effort and all that.  Fear wasn't rational; Logic generally didn't play any part in fear. Yes, that much he knew. But that didn't explain why a boy he hadn't even met until recently was absolutely _terrified_ to be in the same room as him. Surely that implied he had to know something about him to cause such distress?

 

It didn't make sense.

 

_“I never had a name.”_

_“Would you believe me... if I said that I had thought you were someone else?”_

_“..Are... are you really, Jade?”_

_“So, are you going to drag me to Malkuth and torture me again?”_

**_It didn't make sense_**...  and yet...

Jade had been called a monster before. It never bothered him much.

Jade would never admit it either if asked about it, but he _did_ have emotions.  He wasn't completely heartless. He _did_ feel.

It had taken years and years for them to develop but they were there, and yes, he did have them. Emperor Peony as well as his own sister had made sure of that.

Jade solemnly looked on as Luke desperately clung to the Cheagle as the group walked.

And so, if he ignored everything screaming that it was impossible...

If the impossible, was in fact, _possible..._  then that would mean that a past version of himself had **_severely_** **_hurt_** this child for information.

 _Sometimes_ , Jade concluded, _it would be so much easier if I really **were** the monster that everyone believes me to be._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... I struggled with this one a lot. A lot of the stuff I tried out I ended up hating more than what I have here, so.  
> I hope you guys like it anyway!
> 
> Also I really hope this doesn't seem choppy or rushed. gaaah I want to get to the good stuff I have planned but I also don't want to rush. Holy moly it's hard... Dilemma! lol  
> But these plot bunnies man... whoooa. *evil laugh*
> 
> Also... I regret to inform you all that I have been attacked by World of Warcraft. *hides behind desk*  
> Don't kill me! T.T
> 
> I couldn't help it! It was so pretty... so shiny (and discounted!) and my older sis was playing it too! and gaaah.. but plot bunnies... Don't worry. The plot bunnies will happen! 
> 
> No worries! Really.  
> ...these plot bunnies are clingy, man! :3


	7. Hope

 

The trek immediately following their escape from the Tartarus was largely uneventful save for a few monster encounters. Jade was thankful for that at least.

But on the other hand, the questions he had lingering in the back of his mind were getting harder to ignore. The boy, of which the handful of questions regarded, was spending their travel-time quietly, occasionally kicking a loose bit of dirt along the road or hugging his Cheagle companion. Luke and that Cheagle seemed to have developed a routine: during battles with monsters, Mieu would back off a bit until the danger had passed and then he would be right back resting on Luke’s shoulders or in his arms. At that time, Jade usually caught wind of a whispered, “How cute...” from Tear’s direction.

 “Hey, you okay?”  Luke asked Ion.

The Fon Master still hadn't recovered from his use of Daathic fonic artes and so Jade opted for the group to rest for a bit. And, to Jade’s surprise, apparently the Fon Master wasn't the only one who needed a rest.

 

* * *

 

Luke sat quietly and let his eyes droop in relief. How odd it was that he had used to always get so annoyed at Ion’s constant need for rest when lo and behold he was grateful for it now. The blur of the trees along the path, the ringing in his ears, the alarming scattering of black spots along his vision... It had been becoming very difficult to move and had quickly devolved into a struggle to put one foot in front of the other. If another group of roaming monsters had attacked then Luke wasn't sure what he would have done or how the others would have reacted to him clumsily falling on his ass. Oh, the questions they would have asked... just thinking about it made him even more tired.

He smiled as he felt fur brush his face and heard a whispered, “Sleepy, Master?” in his ear.

Their voices felt muted and distant. Guy was asking Ion about his mission, introductions were being made, and then Guy’s phobia came to light.

It all sounded far away. 

It didn't feel like much longer when he was shaken awake.  “Ion’s ready. Let’s go, Luke!”

Ah, it was Guy. Had his voice always been so loud?

“Alright.”  Luke replied.

He opened his eyes and stood.  The others were looking at him, waiting for him.  He walked.  They walked. But Mieu was nowhere to be found. Perhaps the little one had gotten lost... Tears welled and fell.

The path looked ugly and twisted and very, _very_ dark...  Was this place always so hideous? Perhaps...  But it made sense in retrospect.  Luke hated this world, after all.  Why had he only now realized how disgusting it all was?

All of these objects around him: the people he walked with, the shambling trees he passed, the grass, the dirt, the sky... These objects all seemed to be shaking free of their delicate and fleshy shells...  the black trees were bleeding red and pulsing as if ready to burst, the sky was burnt and red and dripping all over the white, pasty slick ground. It was raining the red all over and making such a nasty mess! Everywhere he stepped was squishy and the thick, red splotches squelched out from beneath his shoes.

This?  _Why would he ever want_ _to save_ something as horrible as this place was!? Lorelai was using him to escape this world...  Maybe Luke could understand that.  It was a horrifying place. Anyone would want to escape.

The nausea came abruptly. He could see the white flesh beneath him bulging and breaking too, those tiny slits protruding from the ground were pointy little needle-like teeth stabbing at him as he walked, trying to tear off strips from his ankles. Hungry. They screeched at him. They were all angry...

The sounds all around him blared at him mercilessly. Their noisiness crowded into his ears and changed from deep to shrill to booming and back again in a never ending cycle that made Luke want to tear at his ears in a frenzy. The objects ahead and around yelled at him. They too, were bulging out of their fleshy shells, oozing, squirming.  The yells were like explosions. Some ran at him. Some fell to the slimy white and broke. Objects were all very fragile and needed to be treated carefully if they were to be kept from breaking...

“Master!”

“Luke, finish him!”

The object roared and swung. Luke didn't want to break it. But _he_ didn't want to be broken either...

Luke cleaved the object in two with a blinding flash.

That flash of power seared through him and then a chain reaction of fire started abruptly, exploding throughout his nerves. Luke screamed.

His lungs were on fire and he couldn't breathe.

He couldn't handle this right now.  No more. This all needed to stop for a while.

Luke coughed wetly, heaving up blood and fire.

Yes. Stop. Relief.  Luke was stopped.

 

* * *

 

Wheels were being turned. The movement below him hummed and vibrated too, but it was steady and actually kind of soothing so it didn't jar Luke too much. No, this place was warm and comfortable and the sound of the wheels was actually kind of soothing.

“So... that wasn't the first time? You mean he’s done that before?”

“Precisely.  He’s done ‘that’ at least two other times.”

“I've...hah... never seen him do that before. Hell, I didn't even think stuff like that was possible...”

“So, even you don’t know, Guy?  I thought that since you've been with him his entire life, maybe you would know...”

“No, this is definitely new... I mean, he didn't even fight that well, he knew the basics, sure, but never anything like that. I would know, since we sparred a few times. But if what you were saying is true...”

“Which it is.”

“Ugh, fine... Sorry it’s just... this is kind of hard to take in. People don’t change that fast.”

“You don’t say?”

“Ugh, would you stop that!”

“Quiet, we’re nearing the gates.”

“Hmph.”

“Alright, we’re through.  Tear how is he?”

“Still stable. Though we’ll have to see how he is when he wakes up.”

“I’ll be the first to admit that that scared the hell out of me.  I was really worried he was going to die for a while there.”

“Among other things. I for one, found all his talk about dolls to be rather disconcerting.”

“Ugh... Tell me about it.  It was like he had gone...”

“Crazy?  Go on, Guy.  You can say it. We were all thinking it.”

“Wha..?  No! I mean..”

“Colonel! Luke was very sick. It’s only natural that he’d have been out of sorts.”

“Yes, of course. My apologies, Fon Master.”

 

* * *

 

Luke awoke to the feeling of his waist being held and his arm slung over someone. He blearily opened his eyes, blinking. His stomach lurched and the world spun for a bit, but steady hands righted him. Guy was supporting him. There was also a face-full of blue fur.

“Master!”

“Oh good, you’re awake.  How are you feeling?”

He hurt.  Oh, how he hurt.  He must have winced or something because Tear was at his side and healing him a few seconds later.

“Take it easy.  You almost died, you know...”

 “Mm’ okay. Sorry.” For all his talk, he still needed Guy’s support and so they weren't convinced in the slightest.

“Just take it easy, okay? Go slow.”

“Mhmm.” His tongue felt thick and unwieldy so he promptly stopped trying to speak soon after.

Apparently they were in St. Binah already. They were also leaving, much to Luke’s confusion. But he didn't have much energy to ask on what he had missed. Guy walked him along and he trudged with him.

So, of course The Oracle Knights chose that particular moment to show up

“...Quick, hide! It's the Oracle Knights!”

 

* * *

 

Luke blearily tried to keep his eyes open.

There they were, four of the God Generals... and if the group had been any slower they would have been spotted.

They were close enough to eavesdrop at least, but that Jarring movement as they had rushed to hide certainly hadn't helped with Luke’s road to recovery. Thankfully Mieu was close to him.

“Have you found Fon Master Ion?” Legretta asked one of the nearby soldiers.

“It doesn't appear he's entered St. Binah.”

“That red-haired man with Ion killed mommy... My liger friends told me. I'll never forgive him!” Arietta declared.

“What about that Fon Master Guardian they said was hanging around?” The Masked Replica sounded slightly bored.

“She appears to have made contact with the Malkuth military. But Malkuth is saying it's "classified" and is refusing to provide any useful information.”

“This is my fault. If I hadn't let that boy get the better of me, Anise would've never gotten away. I'm sorry.”  Largo was gruff and serious. And alive.

“You sure it wasn't the necromancer?  I find it really hard to believe that some brat managed to one-up you.” Sync huffed and crossed his arms.

“He _literally_ tore two of my soldiers apart. Largo didn't lie.”

“If that’s true... Wait,  does _he_ know of this yet?”

“He will soon. “

Laughter. Familiar laughter.

Dist!

Luke instinctively lunged even though his body couldn't meet much of the effort required so the action hadn't amounted to much. Guy easily forced him back with a whispered, “What are you doing?”

Where was Mieu?!  Luke struggled, blinking back the dark spots. He would protect Mieu!

_Kill... kill!  Protect your little one!_

“What’s gotten into you?  Calm down!”

“Master?”

 “Withdraw the troops from Engeve and St. Binah.”

“...but!”

“Your wound still hasn't healed. That boy almost killed you. Why don't you take a break? And besides, the only way for them to cross the border is through Kaitzur. If we stay here and antagonize the Malkuth military, it could spark a diplomatic incident.” Sync reasoned.

“So next comes deciding how to deal with them at Kaitzur. Let's return to the Tartarus for now and consider matters there.”

Largo gave the order. And then both the Oracle Knights and the God Generals withdrew from the town.

Dist left soon after as well, still huffy from being ignored.

Luke was worn out and incredibly frustrated. Why did his recovery have to take so long?!  He had been so close to protecting Mieu!

The group then discussed the God Generals and their next course of action. Guy, noticing Luke’s questioning looks, explained what he had missed, mainly because Jade wouldn't.

Luke was surprised to hear that Mayor Rose had helped them into St. Binah by letting them hang out in back of wagon.

“We stopped by the military headquarters here. The Fon Master’s Guardian had left a note with the Field marshal there. They knew the Oracle Knights were going to close down St. Binah so they decided to move on to the next place, where we will be going.”

 “Speaking of which...”

“Well, Jade?”

There was an exchange of glances and subsequent nods.

Had Luke had more energy he probably would have screeched and tried to run when Jade suddenly grabbed his arm and transferred his weight off of Guy.

 

“Alright, we’ll be back soon.” And then they were leaving.

If Luke hadn't been gaping before, he was sure he must have been now. Was he trembling too?  Maybe. It sure felt like he was. Teeth were now chattering too.

“They are off to get supplies. As you know, we have already concluded our business here so we will be leaving shortly.  Before then however, there are certain things that need to be discussed.”

Why was he afraid to have Guy touch him again?  If he could take it all back he would! This was so much worse.  He wanted Guy to come back! Anything was better than being alone with Jade at a time when Luke  wasn't even strong enough to defend himself!

“Relax, Luke. I’m not going to drag you off into an alleyway and eat you. I just want to talk,” Jade sighed.  “...And now you are hyperventilating.  What did I just say? _Relax_.”

Teeth chattering.  Terror. Gasps for breath.

Luke’s mind screeched to a halt when he felt Jade, _Jade_ of all people, change his holding of Luke and begin slowly rubbing circles on his back with one hand.

“Breathe. _Breathe_ , Luke.”

Luke wheezed, struggling, shaking.

Another sigh.

“It seems that my ludicrous theory is the only one that makes your intense fear of me make any sense. I will not hurt you, Luke. Do you understand? I will. Not. Hurt. You.”

The tears flowing freely now certainly weren't helping his breathing efforts much.

“Do you know how hard it is for a scientific mind such as my own to accept the thought of “time travel” as a possible explanation?”  Luke froze.  “ And yet here I am, thinking the only _possible_ way for your sudden bouts of knowledge and power to be explained is with that very insane theory.  By all means, tell me I’m wrong.  It would be a relief at this point.”

 Luke glanced at Jade then. He shook. He cried.  Was this really happening?

“You w-won’t hurt me? ..Even if.. Even if I don’t want to say anything?”

“No. I will not.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Jade huffed, exasperated. “Well, at least you've finally relaxed a bit. I wouldn't particularly enjoy having to explain to Tear just how you managed to suffocate yourself under my care.”

“This is real..?”

“ _Yes_.  This is real.”

Hope. He wanted that hope so much... He wanted that relief more than anything. Luke sobbed. 

“Oh, honestly... the things I do for information. At any rate, I’m thankful we are away from prying eyes or this would be very awkward, more so than it already is. Yes, there there. Or however that saying goes...”

 _Hope..._   It was too tantalizing to pass up.  He wanted relief so much...

“It’s true.”

“Hmm?”

“...I've lived this life before. Many _many_ times.”

Jade wisely kept his mouth shut waiting for Luke to go on. Slowly, he did.

“You guys never believed me. I tried... I kept trying... I really did.  I even t-told you once... and y-you..” 

Jade held up his free hand, resigned.. “I surmised as much.”

“I... stopped trying after that...  and... erg... I don’t want to t-talk about this anymore...”

“Alright.”

“You.. w-won’t...?”

“Yes, yes, I won’t hurt you.  As much as I want answers, I won’t push.”

“O-okay... maybe later... I’ll uh... say some more...”

“I’d appreciate that. Though there is one other thing that needs to be discussed.  That power of yours.”

“...Yeah?”

“You need to stop using it so carelessly. Considering how close to death you were after this latest incident, it’s not much of a stretch to assume that using that power is putting a large strain on your body. If you use it again, you might end up killing yourself. Promise me you won’t use it again.”

“Well... I... Hey!  I still don’t trust you _that_ much yet...”

“Oh?” Jade smirked.

“But... alright. It really hurt this time, so... Okay. I won’t use it again. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a doozy to write! hoo boy. Like running headfirst into a brick wall a few times. Lots of stuff /problems I had to brainstorm and think about... and think about some more:
> 
> I wanted Luke to have a handicap. As of last chapter, nothing was stopping him from cleaving Van in two. ...and that would have made the story considerably shorter (albeit it would have been funny to me... but still... heh.)
> 
> And so? He can’t use his powers too much anymore past this point. No more cleavy- Hyperresonance-glowy-stuff-of-doom unless he wants to get incapacitated-and-stupidly-uber-sick, no sir. Of course he will still use it at least one more time at some point later for maximum drama despite the consequences. (foreshadowing! Drama! Mmm yummy drama...) 
> 
> Now why does he get sick from it all of a sudden? ...uh yeah. Exactly. that was part of the brainstorming brick wall. Some of my ideas  
> 1) Lorelai did something (oh hey, maybe he’s not completely useless!)  
> 2) Maybe Luke using this power has had a cumulative effect on Luke’s body from ALL his timetravel uses and not just a reset statistic that gets cured after every reset. And I imagine he used it a LOT. So now it’s at the point where his body is at its limit and using it anymore will make bad things happen. (so... Lorelai cures Luke’s “I’m-dying-now-nes” when things go bad but not his “forbidden-too powerful-power use effects” on his body? Uhhh... guess so? Okay, I am officially over thinking.)  
> Thinking = Done, before I hurt myself.  
> I like both 1 and 2 and so I’ll just go with both.  
> Both options?  
> Both!  
> Both.  
> Headache done now. Moving on! ^^
> 
> I wanted Dist to live. Making Luke too sick to see straight for their first encounter? There we go. Dist gets to live another day. Woo!
> 
> Jade had to figure things out regardless of how insane it sounded. Something needed to give or this was going to be another “bad ending part XX” in Luke’s resume. Luke wouldn't tell Jade. Period. Luke also is kind of not-sane at this point (in case the acid trip and doll mutterings didn't tip you guys off). He already tried that with Jade once and it didn't turn out well. He wasn't going to try again. I don’t want this to be a tragedy. And therefore, this Jade is smarter than the rest of the Jades and will eventually be the voice of reason to Luke’s not-quite-sane. The problem was... I needed this to happen. I didn't want it to come off as too OOC or mushy. But it needed to happen. Hence the brick wall. So, was it rushed? Yeah, still feels like it to me. But if I had put it off longer my brick wall would have gotten larger. I don’t like that brick wall very much.  
> Also? Is Jade taller than Luke? it's hard to tell in the game. 'cause if he is taller than Luke than I imagine that scene at the end must have been even more awkward for Jade. heheheh... sorry, but not-sorry, Jade. Don't kill me. heehee
> 
> Anyway, I’m not a great author. I’m not great at writing. But I have lots of fun with it, so here I am writing regardless of that! ^^  
> sometimes I get ideas and I want to share those ideas! So, to those of you that are still with me despite all that, thank you! I hope you like the ideas.


	8. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Luke being insane
> 
> And an F-bomb. You know what? I'm paranoid. I'll switch it to M just to be safe.

Once upon a time, Luke had found this area to be an utter nuisance. The burbling and clear water of the Fubras River was a pain to cross not to mention there were giant frogs and other pests bouncing around every which way.  He remembered tripping and getting himself soaked to the waist with chilling water too.  He also remembered Jade’s mocking smirk in response. Swallowing, Luke peeked through his bangs at the man in question.

Jade was focused and battle ready, walking steadily but cautiously. If there was anyone here to notice a threat and then react accordingly it would be the Colonel no question. As if feeling his gaze, Jade turned and their eyes met briefly before the man raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Luke hid his eyes behind a face-full of blue Cheagle.

There was hope.  It was still really hard to believe... Was Luke really... truly... able to trust this man? So many thoughts whirled and screamed the negative.

 But... there were just as many thoughts that had dared to hope. He wanted it so much to be true that it hurt to breathe.

It was peaceful.  The running water was beautiful and it sparkled to the point that Luke had to squint a bit. He could feel the slight breeze, could see the tree branches swaying and their leaves rustling. A smile touched his lips but was just as quickly brushed off as darker thoughts came back.

How could he think this to be a nuisance? He had even hurt Mieu here once upon a time... Self disgust and hatred rose as bile in his throat and he forced himself to swallow. Why...

“Why am I even here again?” Luke hadn't realized he had spoken aloud until he received a response.

“There's a city called Kaitzur after crossing the River here.  We’re almost there. Just be patient, Luke,” Guy said.

“Oh, right...” He fought back the urge to sigh.

There were only a few more pest attacks before the path widened and the river area was almost completely behind them.

“Oi, Luke!  Don’t get too far ahead!”

Ahead?

Luke blinked.

Huh. So he was a bit ahead of them. When had that happened?

He felt the threat before he saw it and tossed Mieu behind him to which the Cheagle gave a tiny squeak of surprise in response. Luke lazily swatted the mouthful of teeth aside before hopping back. The liger did not purse him and Luke’s companions caught up to soon after.

“Luke, you should be more... Whoa, a Liger!”

“...And the person behind it,” Jade drawled.

“It's Arietta the Wild. They've found us...”

“I won't let you get away,” Arietta said from behind her stuffed animal and fanged pest.

“Arietta! Please, let us go. You understand, don't you? We can't let this war happen,” Ion pleaded.

“I...I want to help you, Ion... But those people are my enemies!”

“Arietta, they aren't bad people...”

“Yes...yes they are... He’s the one who killed Mommy!”

The chaos would not be ignored any longer and their shrieks made him cringe and writhe from the boiling pain. Luke felt his own voice rise up to greet them. Relief from the pain was in sight! He had fought it all so long...so hard. And for what?

_Yes... poor boy..._

Luke choked back a whimper.  Maybe just this once... just this one time... Gods above, the pain...! Tears flowed and his mind snapped. The chaos crowed with joy and his voice suddenly rang clear, “Perhaps if your mother wasn't such a _brain-dead twit_ she’d still be alive!” Luke snorted out a shrill laugh.  “Yes, always so quick to rush to your deaths, the lot of you! Pitiful sheep!”

His companions had started their noise. Luke ignored their looks of confusion and the flurry of questions they shot at him. In fact he couldn't even see them anymore! The anger and chaos swarmed him completely now. Only red belonged in his sight now! Perhaps some blood would help to soothe the rabble?

“Shut up!” Arietta screamed.

And so the dancing began.  Luke lost track of time and his companions actions faded from sight. The chaos shrieked and blood pounded in his ears. Pain... Yes.. There was so much _glorious_ pain now... It felt so good not to fight it...

**_Kill! Drink every last drop!_ **

The liger sprang into motion. A few large, flying buzzards had also swooped in from on high.  Arietta’s pets were now fully ready to play with him. Luke felt his mouth split into a feral grin.

_Kill!_

“Yes...” Luke purred.

Luke evaded a pounce and a curved, pointy beak raking towards his neck. Sword out now, he swatted at yet another beak with the flat of his sword and chuckled a bit as the overgrown bird let out a piercing squawk of indignation.

_Kill them all!_

The voices shrieked and cawed. Yes... perhaps letting go... for just this once. The ache was overwhelming.

“I'll never forgive you! I'll chase you to the ends of the earth...and kill you!” Arietta’s shrieks of rage were like Euphoria.  Luke heard his own voice join the chaos.

“Oh please! How about you come over here and say that! Oh right, you’re too busy hiding behind your dolls!” Luke couldn't recognize his own voice anymore. “You blame me for your mother’s death?  So, I suppose you’ll blame me for the death of your dolls as well?!”

Luke twisted his blade and was rewarded with a pained yowl and a splash of blood. “I’ll give you a choice now, sheep!” Luke’s not-voice called. “Call off your dolls before I **_fucking break them_**!”

“Shut up, shut up, **shut up**!” Arietta screamed and sobbed and flung her Fonic Artes with even more frenzied rage then before.

With an explosive jerk, the liger doll was close to broken. Birdy dolls were broken too. They all lay in the grass, bleeding, crying, and writhing. Luke squeezed a broken stub of one and the little doll flailed helplessly. Poor little dolls...

Luke saw the red, and smelled the red, felt the burning sting of his _own_ red.  He was bleeding badly. A few spells had hit as well. It burned.  Such sweet pain...

But...If it was so sweet then why did all of this make him want to cry?

“Master! “

“Sweet Yulia, What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Luke, please stop!”

“Luke! Luke, please don’t kill her!”

Voices...?

He looked down and blinked.

What had he been doing?

Luke was straddling Arietta, his hands on her throat, and sword all but forgotten in the grass by her side. She was making these pitiful mewling, gurgling sounds and her eyes were wide and bulging. All around him was black, oily smoke that sucked out the light of day.  Luke couldn't see anything else.

...what the hell had he been doing?

Hysteria clawed its way to his throat and he flung himself backward, away from the child he had almost murdered and curled into a fetal position, trembling. Arietta wheezed and coughed.

Pain was blinding him, flashing and clawing all around inside of his body until all he could do was shriek and sob into the grass.

Had Luke always been like this... Murdering without care or conscience? How long had he been blindly killing these people and why was he only noticing this now?  Why did he even care all of a sudden? What had changed?

He shakily got to his feet, eyes swimming, and the pain bringing even more tears stinging out of his eyes.  He swiped at them blindly, desperately trying to see through the black anguish. He stumbled on the girl’s arm and fell on Arietta.

_There she is.  I found her..._

He grabbed her and tugged at her desperately, his shaking arms protesting the effort all the way, as he dragged her as far as he could.

The blackness was everywhere around him. The pain was everywhere inside and out and all around him too.  Some giggling little chaos still inside his brain happily informed him that he was now dying and asked if that wasn't just the greatest thing ever, tee hee.

Sudden blinding daylight met his eyes.  He dragged her a bit more through a veil of tears and agony before his body gave out.

 

 

* * *

 

“Is he going to be alright...?” The Fon Master’s voice was small and quiet.

Jade felt the beginning of a headache coming on just the same.

The God General had survived, but only just barely.  Frankly he would have preferred to have finished what Luke had started but the Fon Master had asked for the girl to be spared. And as for that young, complicated mystery...

Jade spared a glance at the unconscious youth slung over Guy’s shoulders. If Tear had not cast that “Fonic Hymn” of hers and neutralized the Miasma, however briefly, he doubted either of them would have survived. Yes, somehow the boy had managed to drag himself and their enemy to the border of poisonous smog but it had still not been far enough... Thankfully Tear had come to their rescue. As it was though, Tear had nearly exhausted herself healing the boy, and at the Fon master’s request, Arietta.

“To be honest, I’m still not too confident in his condition...” Tear spoke just as quietly as the Fon Master had. No doubt that the disturbing events of a few hours ago were still fresh in all of their minds. “I think we should bring him to a doctor...”

“Yeah...”

Guy had commented that it was somehow as if Luke had become another person.

Frankly, Jade still wasn't sure what to make of it.

The boy had gone from huddling behind his fuzzy companion and sneaking peeks at him to cackling hysterically and screaming for blood and just as easily _spilling_ it. Oh, and one could not forget all of the lovely chattering about dolls, breaking dolls, bloody doll parts, and _sheep_. Whatever the hell a sheep was... Jade sighed and shook his head. He was starting to have doubts about the time travel theory.  Maybe the only explanation that Jade really needed was that the kid was simply _insane_.

 

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, the boy had finally regained consciousness. Tear opted to heal him a few more times after assessing just how bad off Luke still was physically, but she had no choice but to stop lest she collapse herself. Luke had tried and failed to walk and so it was decided that Jade and Guy would take turns carrying him. The only good news was that they were almost to Kaitzur regardless of such lengthy setbacks.

On another note, Luke had apologized profusely and spent his first hour of wakefulness by either sobbing or entering a glassy-eyed daze. He said that he didn't know what had come over him but not much else.

It was getting late so the group had stopped and set up camp for the night. Jade opted for first watch, partly because the other two were absolutely exhausted and he very much doubted they would have been able to last very long.

It was at least an hour and a half into his watch before Luke spoke.

“Is there still hope, Jade?” Luke whispered then sighed. “I want to trust you... I want all of this to just stop already... so I want to trust you _... so much_ that it hurts.  But I’m so scared of you.” Luke’s voice cracked.  “It’s all just going to happen again and again and again isn't it? Why won’t he just leave me alone...”

“Who?”

“Lorelai.”

“The Aggregate sentience of the Seventh Fonon?”

“Mhmm.”

“Its existence was hypothetical, but...” 

Luke chuckled softly, “You always say that.” 

“So... you told me that you've experienced this many times. How many?” 

“I...I lost count... I just got so tired, Jade. I tried really hard to change things at first... But then... I don’t know when I got so tired...  So very tired...” 

“Go on...”  Jade prompted. 

“I started to kill Van and them a lot. But Lorelai always sent me back anyway.  So I kept trying and trying.  Kept killing them different ways... I killed Van with a kitchen fork once.”  A hysterical sob bubbled out of Luke’s throat.  “They had me executed.  It really _really_ hurt...And my fake mom was really loud and crying a lot. But I’m a replica so she shouldn't have cried so much you know? I even told her that but I don’t think she believed me. She just cried more. She shouldn't have cried, Jade. I’m not her son. I’m not anyone’s son."

Jade’s mind reeled with questions and many pieces.  Patience, he reminded himself, If he rushed this the boy might close in on himself like he had in St. Binah.

“Them?”

“Mm?  Oh. Van’s God Generals... They are like sheep... but smart. And...”

“ _Van’s_ God Generals?”

“Yeah.. He orders them around and stuff. Like I said, _sheep_.”

“Right... Sheep.” Jade fought the urge to roll his eyes, not that Luke would have been able to see it from where he was lying down.  

“Jade... “

“Hmm?”

“I.. I think it’s getting worse.  I couldn't remember, Jade. With Arietta, I mean.  I've killed them before. Many many times.  But I've never blanked out like that before.  It hurt so much and the voices were so loud... But I couldn't _remember_ what I had been doing. I’m scared... I want to trust you. I need this... But What if this just keeps repeating and you forget and I have no one again?  What will I do?! I’m scared!”  Sobs broke out and Jade felt something he hadn't known was possible for him.

Luke jerked when he felt a hand on his shoulder roughly shake him and his eyes snapped to Jade’s. The man looked furious. But...there was something else there that Luke couldn't quite place.

“Alright. Enough.” Jade said quietly and in a deadly tone that brooked no argument. “Enough thinking yourself in circles. You want my help?”

Luke, on the verge of more tears and terror could only nod helplessly.

“Then what you did today?  It will not happen again.  _Do you understand_? I will _not_ let you run rampant like a madman. Frankly, you’re a danger not only to yourself but those around you. From now on you will _ask_ me before you act. You will tell me what you want to do and I will decide if it should be done or not.  You want help?  Then say that you understand and give me your word that you will follow my advice when it is given. No, don’t just nod! Say the words.”

“Yes.. I mean... I can do that. Please help me, Jade. I can’t... I can’t do this anymore...”

“Good. I’m glad we are in agreement. I will help you. But first you need to tell me what you've experienced in these past “timelines” of yours.”  Jade’s patience abruptly snapped. “Stop crying this instant!” He hissed.  “I won’t hurt you. Get that through your thick skull! Now stop that. I can’t help you unless I have all the information. So...”   And with that the boy lunged at him, faster than Jade could react, and started bawling into his shirt.

Jade had almost yelled in response, but all that managed to come out was a choking cough and Jade found himself glaring down at a noisy, bawling, _irritating_ crazy child that was now clinging to him like a lifeline. Jade scowled and went to shove the child away from him in disgust but stopped himself at the last second and thought better of it. It would probably just make the brat cry harder and then he’d never get anything of worth out of him... Resigned, Jade growled low and then let out a long, exasperated sigh.

 

Fine.

But just this once. 

 

* * *

 

Guy lay quietly, hopefully appearing to be asleep to that very sharp-on-the-uptake Colonel.  Judging by their continued lull of conversation, he figured they hadn't noticed. Guy imagined they would have stopped if they _had_ noticed after all.

He kept his breathing as even as he could, and relaxed.  The urge to shake, or better yet, bolt upright and start demanding answers in turn was strangely absent. He felt calmer than he should be.  The moment was surreal...

Time travel? Ridiculous.  And yet...

Van was trying to destroy the score, Mohs was “a useless patsy with tunnel vision a mile wide” as Luke had put it, Anise had sold them out to said patsy from the beginning, and Ion had died ridding tear of the miasma. The list of mind boggling tale after tale went on and on and was making Guy’s head spin.

What came next almost made Guy jerk out of his relaxed facade.

“Yes, Guy is really a Noble that was called Gailardia Galan Gardios. Ugh what a mouthful,“ Luke muttered. “Anyway, during the Hod War, Duke Fabre had slaughtered his entire family. Guy’s a survivor of that war just like Van is. After that, Guy wanted revenge against Duke Fabre so he joined Van and they worked to that end. He wanted to hurt The Duke how he had been, by attacking his family.”

Guy’s mind reeled.  How? How could Luke possible know that?!

Guy felt the start of a tremor and he fought to keep himself from shaking.

Breathe, he told himself.

It took him longer than he would have liked, but he managed to calm himself down as to not alert them to his state of consciousness.

So...  Time travel...

Guy continued to listen long through the night.

 

* * *

 

The next morning was met with bleary eyes and much internal groaning from a certain few within the group.

On the bright side, Luke hadn't completely recovered but he was feeling much better than he had been and was able to walk. They reached Kaitzur within a few hours of travel.

The border fortress was just as large as Luke remembered it to be. Luke blearily pressed his face into Cheagle fur and tried not to whine at how much more walking was ahead of them. Mieu squeaked happily in response and wiggled his paws. “Master!”

“Hey, Mieu... Thanks for being such a wonderful cushion.”

“Your welcome, Master!” More wiggling paws and laughter ensued.

A sudden dark thought hit his mind and his good mood dissolved almost instantly.  The traitor. Asch. Van. “Hey, Mieu.  Go hang out with Tear for a bit, okay?”

“Okay, Master.”

He vaguely heard Tear’s small gasp of “Oh! Hello, Mieu...” from behind him as he saw Anise scowling at the border guard. Luke felt himself tense when she finally turned and saw them all approaching her. The usual script ensued but Luke could not relax.  She was here. Smiling. But, where was he? Asch. Van.

A break in script snapped him back to reality and away from fizzling nerves and chaos.

“Luke.” It’s all Jade had had to say, really.

Luke took a deep breath and nodded at him. He wasn't alone anymore. Jade had told him it wouldn't all become sunshine and roses overnight, but it was a start and something to keep reminding himself of when it got hard to think.  Luke took another deep breath and steeled his nerves.  Hope.  There was actually hope now...

Maybe... just maybe.. Everything would be okay now...

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, Luke spotted that familiar red.

_Ah. There he is._

“By the way, how are we going to cross the checkpoint? Neither Luke nor I have passports,”  Tear asked.

The voices chattered. Those tiny slivers of barbed chaos were coiling back and clutching at his mind. Luke shook his head and took another breath.

_Breathe. Relax. You’re not alone._

“You won't need any once you're dead!” 

Luke hopped back and had his sword out to parry Asch’s next few swipes at his neck in a flurry of reflexes and agility. Unfortunately, Luke hadn't had much practice in keeping the voices under control yet and so the sudden crescendo of shrill pain and chirping shrieks sent him nearly off balance.

He clutched his head, biting back tears of pain and Asch took that moment to swipe and connect. Blood spilled and stinging erupted at his shoulder blade. Red and chaos. Luke cried out and instinct took over. Asch snarled.  

“Stand down, Asch!” 

“...Out of the way, Van!” 

“What do you think you're doing? I don't recall giving any orders like this. Now stand down!” 

 _Van!  Kill... Bleed him!_  

Luke felt a surge of panic and chaos and bit back a whimper as he clenched his eyes shut and held his head in one hand.

 “You alright?” Guy’s voice.  Luke opened his eyes and turned to look at him in surprise, even more so when he realized how close Guy was. Tear was already healing him as well. 

And on his other side, Jade was still holding his uninjured shoulder, both a simultaneous warning and reassurance.  

_See? You’re not alone. Breathe._

Luke took yet another deep breath and stood straight. “I’m alright now.” 

Jade nodded and released him. 

Luke may have said he was alright, but that didn't quite mean he would be up for speaking anytime soon. He was still reeling from the sight before him.  The script continued. Van made attempt at conversation with him and Luke felt himself trembling slightly with revulsion in response.  Luke didn't reply verbally and instead opted for simply staring at the man and trying to keep his thoughts from jumbling too much. 

The rest of the day was a blur.  The Inn. Passports. Van was right there. Trying to keep the revulsion in check was starting to become the entirety of Luke’s focus. Hell, trying to let anything else in would overwhelm him easily. He doubted he’d be able to speak right now even if he tried. The lies kept spewing out of that thing’s mouth! He wanted to hack that grin off his face. Chaos bubbled and screeched... 

Oh Yulia.

They had passports... maybe. He stumbled along with them.  Dazed.

Words... Oh... Van was saying they should rest. Another fit of trembling. 

“Luke.”  Luke started violently, dazed eyes snapping to Van’s and feeling his mind shriek in response. Van was talking to him again. Why wouldn't he stop?!

Oh Yulia! 

 _Kill... thirst... bleed him..._ The voices moaned.

“Luke?  Luke!  Look at me please.”

His gaze blinked to black for a few seconds. Oh Yulia he was still talking to him... 

“I’d like to speak with you. Alone please.”  No. No. No.  _No..._

 _Don’t leave me, guys. Please... Why would you leave me here? Please... No..._  

“Why are you acting like this? Have I done something wrong?”  

Oh Yulia... Oh Yulia... they are screaming... The urge to cry and scream... how he wanted to... to... 

 _Twist him... make him scream! This is your chance. Jam your fingers into his neck! Slowly now. Listen. You can just hear it breaking. Bleed it! Twist it!_

His teeth were chattering now and he was taking steps back.  The monster was on the prowl and kept coming towards him even as he took steps back... but he promised Jade he wouldn't kill him. They couldn't be rash. Killing him wouldn't necessarily solve any of the problems and Luke had promised him. So he couldn't. Jade was helping.  There was _hope_. 

Voices screamed and screamed and Luke wanted to join them. The anger came abruptly too.   

 _How dare you cower before this walking corpse! Useless coward!_

“Stop. Stop. Stop already, please...” His mouth was moving and those words came out endlessly. Van’s expression was unreadable. 

 _I'_ _ve killed you before and I’ll do it again so I swear to Yulia get the hell away from me before I break my promise...!_  

The shrieks of chaos were cackling with glee.

Overwhelming hatred seethed and roiled. 

 

Enough. He’d had enough!  No more! 

 

Luke seized the chaos in his mind’s eye, it was large and putrid and black as night.  He gathered the remaining filth and squeezed. A flash of golden light erupted outward and then the light and the chaos both blinked out of existence just as quickly.  Van jerked backward in shock. 

The sudden silence startled Luke so much he burst into tears. 

“What just happened?  Are you alright, Luke?”

“It’s quiet inside, Van.” Luke smiled, exhausted. It felt like the first time he had smiled in ages. “It’s finally quiet.” 

“What do you...” Luke stood and brushed himself off.  The tears would not stop. 

“Van.  I think I can finally say this with certainty...” 

“What?” 

“I’m still insane.” Luke smiled.   

It was kind of funny watching Van try to keep his expression neutral. 

“...I see?” 

“And now I know for sure that I still _really_ hate you.” Luke shook his head. “I have _hope_ now. And it’s amazing... I won’t let you win.” 

“...Excuse me?”  The fake concern vanished and Van could not hide the anger that flashed in his eyes.  

 _There we go. Much better. A Monster should look like one._

“See you later, Van.” Luke turned and walked away, waving his hand as he did so.     

 

* * *

 

Suffice it to say...

Jade had _not_ been happy. 

 

“You did ... ** _what_**?”  Jade hissed.  That last word had sounded suspiciously like a growl. 

“You weren't there.” Luke reminded him in a whisper, not quite keeping the tremor out of his voice. 

“That... that shouldn't be possible.” Jade said bluntly.  

“You've probably said that about a lot of things... “ 

“Point,” Jade allowed.  

“So... Maybe it wasn't a hyperressonance? I’m not really sure what I did, to be honest.” 

Jade sighed. “So?  Are you still hearing voices?  Seeing things?” 

Luke stopped for a bit and listened.  Then he shook his head.  “I don’t think so...” Luke couldn't quite keep the smile off his face. 

Jade glared.“It’s been all of _three_ days and you've _already_ broken your promise! What if you had started coughing blood again?” 

“I’m sorry, Jade...” 

Jade glared some more. 

“But I’m alright...” 

“If what I’m starting to think happened is true... then _you forcibly erased_ _part of your_ _psyche_! I’m not sure I’d call that being ‘alright.’ You could have killed yourself.” 

“I’m sorry, Jade...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I finally got around to adding this, I'm just sorry it took me so long. Life has been kind of hectic. 
> 
> Thanks again to Lavender for the wonderful fanart! It means so much to me!  
> http://lavender-exile.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Doll-622506044
> 
> Luke will be slightly less insane from now on. Okay so it was kind of corny and a cop-out but once the idea stuck I couldn't get it out of my head. I just kept thinking of jade's expression when Luke told him what had happened and could not stop the chuckles and thoughts of "I kind of want to do that because that Jade glare expression sounds funny and awesome... and I love driving this Jade nuts"
> 
> I'm still not quite sure what I think about it though. On the one hand I like it. On the other hand... I'm not sure if i do.  
> Let me know what you guys think. If you don't like it I can always go back and change the chapter so he still has crazy voices. XD  
> On another note This all feels kind of 'meh' to me but I'll just tell my lack of confidence to shush for a while. Here's hoping you guys like it anyway. :3
> 
> Either way this fic still isn't going to suddenly turn into sunshine and rainbow fluff. Luke's got quite a bit of hell left to get through before he can have his fluffy ending.
> 
> Cheers!


	9. Sheep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure where this came from. Also still not sure if I'm happy with this.  
> As usual: I suck at grammar! You've been warned.
> 
> When in doubt? I blame the sugar! :3

Bustling and frantic movement; the noise a crescendo of shouts, hasty footsteps, and of clanking man-made tools. Birds fluttered away to safety, their feathers loosed, cries made known.

So much _noise_!

 

The only ship at the Kaitzur port was on fire.

Luke couldn’t even dredge up the effort to _pretend_ to be surprised.

 

His acquaintances were in varied states of restlessness at his side, or in Jade’s case; silently calculating the damage and possible causes, his eyes taking in every detail, yet all the while looking bored out of his mind to the rest of the onlookers.

 

Luke didn’t have Jade’s legendary poker face or control: he really _was_ bored out of his mind and couldn’t have hid that even if he wanted to.

 

They walked closer to all the noise and Luke squinted. He could see sailors and personnel running around frantically and, what Luke assumed was some sort of official, was barking orders over the ruckus.

Oh, and Van was there. Arietta was too.  She was at sword point. Van had control of the pointy side.

 

“Arietta! Who gave you permission to do this?!”

 

Luke rolled his eyes.

 

“I knew it was you, Gloomietta! Stop causing trouble for people!”

 _You’d know **all** about that wouldn’t you, traitor?_

“I am NOT gloomy! You're mean, Anise!” 

 _It would be nice if they’d both just die already.  Preferably right now... I could even help._  

 

And then Arietta’s eyes swiveled away and came to focus on Luke, finally realizing he was there. Luke blinked and then cocked his head to one side, “What?” 

Van’s expression flickered slightly. Luke ignored that calculating gaze. “I’ll never forgive you...”  She squeezed her doll harshly, eyes narrowing. 

“I gave you a choice. Not my fault you ignored it.” 

 

“ _Shut up_!  You killed my friends!  You killed mommy!” There was a small sliver of sparkles and purple light.  Luke blinked in surprise and felt himself tensing, hand already at his sword’s hilt.   

This was new.  Before, she had never been so enraged that she had completely ignored Van and gone on the offensive... He could hear even more noise and questions and feel the tension rise further still. Well, if she wanted a fight she’d get one. Luke was about to unsheathe his sword, but Van was already moving, and Arietta was only halfway through the incantation before Van’s sword was at her neck and he hissed an order to cease.  

Arietta started violently, almost losing hold of her doll, and then stared at Van as if seeing him for the first time. 

“Commandant... I'm sorry...” She was actually on the verge of tears. The look of anger in Van’s eyes intensified and then just as quickly receded. 

“Well?” 

“I...” She swallowed and seemed to come back to herself. “Asch asked me to.”  

“Asch?!”  She waved one hand and then lifted her other hand straight up into the air as a griffon came down to fetch her.

“I have to take away the engineer who can repair the ship.”  Once she was safely aboard her pet she turned her gaze back to Luke and her glare was full of venom and ice. “If you want him back, you and Ion have to come to Choral Castle. If you don’t then they’ll kill the man.”  The venom peaked and clenched as she flew away on her pet.  

 

Van was _still_ staring at him.

Growing aggravated, Luke finally met that stare with one of his own, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.  

Mercifully, Guy chose that time to ask about the ship’s condition.

Luke fought the sigh of relief. He would not show his weakness to that thing. 

With Van still being in his immediate vicinity after everything he had done to Luke, would _continue_ to do to him... and yet still being _alive_?  Such a threat... And yet it was still allowed to live? Why hadn’t Luke killed him yet?!  Any second now...  The monster would attack. That falsity it preached would lower with a ‘ _snap’_ and then he’d snarl, hiss, and lunge for Luke’s throat!  

 

...and yet... _impossibly..._ nothing happened.  The false platitudes remained in place. The fangs remained sheathed.

Luke fought down the sudden bile. 

The constant waves of adrenaline, anticipation, and tension were exhausting and it had only been a few hours...

Luke felt ashamed and embarrassed.  He was already going crazy again?   

“What's this "Choral Castle" that Arietta mentioned?”  Jade’s voice was like a slap and Luke almost flinched with it. 

He blinked a few times and let out a few slow breaths. Right.

Luke had _promised_ him.There was hope now that he was not alone. 

The earlier panic seemed so silly now and Luke huffed out a few breathy laughs, relieved and feeling the tension draining from his shoulders. 

“Something you’d like to add, Luke?” 

Luke looked at the speaker, at Van, and merely smiled.  “About Choral Castle?”  Luke chuckled.  “Nope.  Not a thing.”

Van narrowing his eyes at him was all it took for Luke to burst into a fit of giggles. Their ensuing, _incredulous_ looks only made him laugh harder.   

 

* * *

 

A groveling maintenance flunky had blabbed about how ‘that kidnapped guy can’t die ‘cause the score said so,’ then Ion had immediately snapped into the dutiful response of, ‘Oh, of course! Let’s all go do that thing because the score said so, and we are _fucking_ _sheep_!’   

Okay, so that wasn’t exactly what had been said, but it was a decent enough translation. 

The reminder had been a much needed blow.  Luke’s mirth had vanished to be replaced with a numbing sense of resignation. 

Just because he had a potential ally now didn’t make everything suddenly filled with sunshine and rainbows.

...Because that hope could snap and crack in a moment’s notice.

 Like all the times it had before... 

Still... It was actual _hope_.

Luke hadn't had something like that in a long time...

 

* * *

 

Everything was always a blur. Now that he thought of it... Life itself had been a blur ever since Lorelai had first decided to ‘play’ with him. Ever since then, life had been an agonizing cacophony of screams, kaleidoscopic colors, and inevitable deaths. But now...

 

_Hope_

Luke clung to it.  If he clung to it enough maybe it would become real.

 

First things first...

 

“Where are we?”

 

Yes, he had to stop the blur... but constantly getting _those_ looks tended to get irritating whenever he tried to stop it. It was frustrating and yet he couldn’t really blame them either, even though he could---ugh...  His thoughts went full circle, repeatedly.

 

“This is Choral Castle...”  Tear said slowly.  That look... She thought he was insane.  She was barely tolerating his insanity and childishness.

The Traitor was gaping at him too... Wondering how he could be so insane.

 

Luke wanted to rip that look right off her face. 

 

But that would be bad. Luke didn’t want to do that!

And yet he _did_...  _So very much_...

 

 

Luke sighed.

 

 

Still, Luke was getting sick of losing sense of space and how much time had passed. Jade could only do so much if Luke didn’t pull his own weight a little.

 

 

“Why are we here?”

 

Luke clenched his teeth at those looks. Jade had said this was going to be hard but Luke was finally realizing just _how_ much so...  ‘Focus on keeping your breathing even’ had been one of the tips given.  Luke did just that.

_‘There is hope_ ,’ he reminded himself.

 

 

 

“Luke?” Guy was assessing him with a frown. At least it wasn’t _that_ look.

 

“Were you even paying attention at all?” Her tiny little voice was like nails on glass.

 

Luke fought back the murderous impulse, “Humor me.”

“We’re here to save the ship mechanic,”  Jade supplied evenly. He was the only other that hadn’t given _that_ look. “Remember?”  He quirked an eyebrow. ( _Translation:_ _Have you gotten yourself back under control?)_

“More or less.”  ( _Translation: Thanks.)_

 

* * *

 

Fighting to stay focused on reality was harder for Luke than fighting the denizens of Choral Castle was... Luke had no trouble dispatching the shambling undead or the lumbering mechanical fail-safes, but remembering the ‘where he was’ and ‘why?’  Heaven forbid!

Luke was frustrated.

Yes, he knew it wasn’t going to get better instantly... Jade had warned him that these things take time and he’d have to be equal parts patient and determined. At this point, the ‘patience’ part of that advice might as well have been punted out of a window. Staying focused and aware of everything was so freaking _hard_!

“Hey, Luke!  Keep up!”  Guy called from up ahead.

“Coming!”

 

“Master?  Are you okay? Are you tired?”  Mieu looked up from where Luke held him.  “I can go be held by Tear instead if that will help?”

“Nah, it’s not you. I’m...  I’m just really sick of this place.”

“It is very spooky!”

“Everything is. It’s so hard, Mieu... I can’t remember what we did here... I can’t remember why I’m doing this again.  I can’t remember because I didn’t care... and it’s so hard...”

Luke let out a sigh into Mieu’s fur.

“I can help, Master!  I can help you remember!”

“Whoa...  what are you--”  Mieu had struggled free, leapt from him and was already hopping down a different path, away and out of sight from the others ahead of them.  Luke was so surprised and panicked it didn’t even occur to him to alert them.  Instead he blindly chased after Mieu in a mad dash. The monsters here posed no threat to him, but the tiny Cheagle was another matter entirely. “Mieu? Mieu, come back! Stop!”

He was leaving him? Why was he leaving him? Mieu was abandoning Luke too?

“Mieu! Please stop!”

The Cheagle was gone already though... So fast! Lost...

But why... He had been nicer to him this time! Luke didn’t deserve him... He already knew that... But he thought, at least, this Mieu would...

He had to find Jade...

Jade hadn’t abandoned him yet...

Jade would help!

 

**_Just like he “helped” you back then? You had been reduced to begging him to kill you when all had been said and done! Remember.  Remember the Necromancer.  Remember the Traitor.  Remember the Pr—_ **

Something snapped.

 

* * *

 

Dist had been blathering on and on about how it had to be just perfect, blah blah blah, and anything less than perfection was unacceptable... but had he bothered to get it done himself?  Of course not!

Sync grumbled and rolled his eyes behind the mask that hid them from view, finishing up the prep-work for the Fon machine.  That useless, good-for-nothing, waste of space...

The door to the room creaked noisily open from behind him and was then kicked violently shut.

That idiot couldn’t even do something as simple as being quiet in a Yulia-damned _floating_ chair?

Sync whirled, irritated. “What is it _now_ , you blithe—“

But it wasn’t Dist.

 

Asch’s Replica didn’t seem too thrilled to see him either.

Okay. This could have been worse, but as it was the situation could be salvaged. Sync tensed and readied himself to dash forward and incapacitate him. Sync was faster than Largo, after all. That, and Sync still had trouble believing that this _idiot_ managed to do that to a God General.  It was only because the Necromancer had been there.  That’s all!  This should be a cakewalk.

Before he could even take a step though, the red-head spoke, “Oh. The masked-Ion doll. Hello.”

Sync the Tempest, God General, actually found himself _gaping_. “What? How do you...”

“Hello.” The boy said again, smiling sweetly. That smile didn’t reach his eyes, those glassy eyes that were red and glowing dangerously.  Asch had _green_ eyes...

‘ _Pull yourself together!_ ’ Sync reminded himself.  This show of weakness was unacceptable, especially in front of an enemy. There was no reason to feel this uneasy...

“You are powerful...  yet you have let that thing butcher you... countless times... over and over again.  Why?”

_Attack him, idiot!  Don’t just stand there!_

“Why, what?”  Yulia-damn it all, why was he so unsettled?  Why was he shaking? The room felt like it was closing in on him, trapping him in thick darkness.

“Why do you let yourself die? Van isn’t a worthy reason to die for. He never has been.  You could be so much more.”

“What the Hell do you know?!  You don’t know me!  You have no idea what I’ve been through!”

  
Why was he saying this? Why was Sync even letting this farce continue? 

The Replica ignored him. “I’ve seen you die so many times. I had a hand in some of them. I admit... I was jealous of you.”

Okay, Sync had officially gone crazy.  There was no other explanation for this.  It was impossible. It was crazy. This was disgusting weakness and Sync abhorred weakness.  The weak were thrown away. Sync, too, would be thrown away once he had served his purpose as a tool. Such was the fate of rejects.

And Die?  Pfft.  He hadn’t died _yet_. 

 

Instead, his mind latched onto, “Jealous?  Why the hell would _you_ be jealous of _me_?”

“Your power. Your determination.”  The Replica frowned.  “But most of all... Your will to live.”

Sync found himself gaping like a fool again. What was this idiot going on about? This didn’t make any sense!

“You could actually die and be at _peace_ like the others... You could forget it all. Unlike me.”  The Replica continued. “You went along with Van. Let him use you. Did exactly what he wanted, when he wanted.  Like a good little _sheep_.”

“The hell is a sheep?”

“And yet... And yet you wanted to live so badly!  You wanted to be needed, to have _use_. You knew he didn’t really ‘need’ you and yet you let yourself die for him anyway! ALL THE TIME!”  The Replica was shouting at him now, eye flashing and gleaming with fury ... _and tears_. “So many times you could have lived... you wanted to live!  So why!  Why would you let that _filth_ use you! I tried to make you see reason but you were just like the rest of them, deaf, blind, blissful in your ignorance!  Never listening!  Never thinking for yourself!  Brainless sheep to be slaughtered!”

Sync felt himself flinch in rage.. and something else.  Whatever it was, it hurt...  What was that feeling and why did it hurt so much?

 

The red-haired brat suddenly became a vicious blur and Sync’s superior speed and reflexes saved him from what otherwise would have sheared off a chunk from his throat.

“You could actually die and be at _peace._.. You could forget it all! You were lucky! _I’m not allowed to die_ and yet you, the foolish sheep, chose to die even though you wanted to live so much?!  Tell me why! Why won’t you just live!”

A retort was on his lips but nothing came out.

The flurry of clashing and evading was merciless and unrelenting, Sync was a master of hand to hand.  He _excelled_ at it. His speed was nearly unmatched and he had not bled yet during the exchange, but he also, impossibly enough, could not _draw blood in turn._

“Why... why...” The Replica was sobbing. “Why can’t I be a sheep too?”

“What the _fuck_ is a sheep?!”

Weakness was unacceptable... So, why was this crazy brat getting to him so much!?

The attack ended at a stalemate and Sync, furious with himself, couldn’t quite bring himself to re-engage. The Replica was just standing there, hiccupping, drooping. He looked ... resigned. Hopeless.

 

Why was Sync just standing there?  Why was he feeling all of these things? Why was he still hesitating?

What the fuck was going on... 

 

“Masked-Ion Doll...?

“Don’t call me that!”

“Do you think... do you think there really is hope?”

 

And suddenly the green eyes were back.  Sync gave up trying to understand this anymore.

_Just knock the crazy brat out and be done with it!_

 

It was all a blur and it didn’t make any sense.

None of this shit made any sense!

And to further his confusion, somehow, Sync found himself being effortlessly thrown across the room.

“Sync. Ion Replica.”

“Don’t you call me tha-“

“Whatever-the-fuck-your name is,” the _red-_ eyed Replica interrupted. “Give a message to Asch for me, would you? I won’t allow you to synchronize my Fon slots for your own amusement. If you want to talk to me, then get off your lazy ass and come see me in-person. Got that?”

“How could you possibly know about that!  And how do you know what I am?”

“Does it matter?  Even if I told you it wouldn’t change anything. It never has.”

“What are you talking about! Change _what_?”

“Future. Past. I repeat: does it matter?”

“You’re insane.”

“Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“You are. Completely _batshit_ insane.  Why am I even listening to you... why am I still _talking to_  you... I...”

...and there it was.  His eyes were green again. 

“I’m tired. I can’t handle this anymore... Please don’t synchronize me... Please... I want to sleep, Sync...”

“Enough!”

“If you synchronize me then I’ll have to kill myself... But then I’ll just be brought back... and _this_ one has hope... I’ll lose _hope_.”

 _Again_ with the tears...!

“Enough!  Just stop talking already!”

The red-headed Replica promptly passed out, as if on cue.

 

* * *

 

Sync didn’t move. He just stared.

_Well. Great.  You didn’t even need to knock him out.  Just drag him over to the machine and call it a day.  That blithering chair-rider can do the rest._

And yet Sync still hadn’t moved.

How had he known? Only Van and the other God Generals knew that Sync was an Ion Replica. How had he known that Asch wanted their Fon slots synchronized?  How was he that fast?  What was up with his eyes?  Replica’s shouldn’t be able to change their eye color on the fly...

 

_So many times you could have lived... you wanted to live!  So why_

_Why won’t you just live_

Sync couldn’t stop shaking. He was still reeling.

The brat was insane.

 

_He was crying for me..._

Sync snorted.

 

 _He was trying to kill me too, because that’s what enemies do, they kill each other. And he_ would _have killed me if I had been slower._

_The kid went from serious to googly-eyed tears to cold-hearted killer in seconds. He’s insane, that’s all! ...Just drag him to the machine already._

Sync still didn’t budge.

He could not stop shaking.

This was all so ridiculous!

 

Why was this affecting him so much...

 

_‘And yet... And yet you wanted to live so badly’_

Sync let out an exhale, struggling to breathe, to regain his composure.

Sync wanted to scoff and deny it, but deep down he knew... it was true, he _knew_ it... would never admit it out loud and never had...

 

The brat had spoken like he was entirely, one-hundred-percent sure.

Sync wished he _hadn’t_ been one-hundred-percent correct.

Why the fuck could he not stop trembling? Weakness. There was no place for weakness...

And yet he couldn’t stop it.  The thought tumbled over and over, relentlessly.

_How had he known?!_

The door banged open. The enemies stormed in.

 

Sync sighed, finally managing to steel himself.

 

 

“Master!”

“Luke!”

 

Sync reacted quickly, flinging himself forward and hoisting up his new hostage, by the neck, most of the weight supported by the other hand gripping the back of the red-head’s shirt. It would be an easy thing to snap that pliable neck and judging by their sudden halt, his enemies were smart enough to recognize that fact.

His speed was still an advantage but the situation had just gotten more irritating. They were between him and the most easily accessible door, and he still had data to delete now that the first plan had gone south. Complicated, but do-able. He was Sync the _Tempest_ , after all.

“What did you do to him?” Van’s sibling demanded.

“You mean aside from literally holding his life in my hands?” Sync rolled his eyes, not that they could see that.

_Damn it, he’d have to give them ground to reach the console..._

Ah well. Couldn’t be helped.

Sync backed up slowly with his hostage until he reached the machine.  Thankfully, Sync had an excellent memory or this would have been impossible from the get go.

It took a few presses, but that probably should have been enough to delete the files.

 

Time to be a tempest.

Time to leave.

Sync shoved the unconscious replica forward and several things happened at once:

 

\- Sync flung himself left and away from the crackling Fonic arte, damned Necromancer —

\- Ion’s pet guardian, now riding her puppet, jumped and reached his landing point, swinging a fist-

\- The Commandant’s Sister made a hasty grab for the falling red-head and succeeded before he could smack his head on the stone floor again -

\- The blonde swordsman jumped in front of the downed red-head, and the one holding him, sword drawn and at the ready-

\- Sync jumped high, avoiding the fist, grabbing the overhead railing, rolling over it and coming back to his feet on the catwalk, all without sacrificing speed -

\- running and dodging a sudden stream of projectiles, fucking Necromancer! -

\- and finally through the upper door -

 

And that should have been that.

Sync should have just left.. He had wasted enough time here already.

Instead he doubled back.

...and listened.

 

“Master!  Master, please wake up!”

“Well?” An interesting note of steel was in the Necromancer’s voice.

“I’ve healed him just to be safe.”

“Master!  Master!”

“He’ll be fine, Mieu.”

“Damn it... What had that God General been here for?”

“Something to do with that machine, I suspect.”  Sync wasn’t imagining things.  There was definitely bite in the Necromancer’s tone.

“Master!  I’m sorry!  I’ll be slower next time!  Please wake up!”

“Mieu.. please just...”

“I just wanted to show him that piece! For the puzzle! He wanted to remember and I could help... I could help Master. He was supposed to follow! I’ll go slower next time...”

“You shouldn’t have run off like that to begin with, Mieu. You could have gotten hurt!”

“Mieuuuu....”

 

_Ugh.  Irritating little pipsqueak._

 

It was slow-going having to wait.... but finally the red-head woke up.

But of course it was never so simple or easy. The Necromancer was starting to catch on to something being amiss and Sync had to back off a bit.

He couldn’t get close enough to hear...

 

Ah well. Sync stuck around long enough for Arietta to be pummeled and one of her pets felled. The mechanic was saved.

Even after her failure and her threat on their lives, the Fon Master still wanted her alive ... she escaped death.  Just like that. Even after the incompetence...

_As if you’re one to talk about incompetence._

 

What the hell was he even doing here still? He had wasted enough time on this.

This was just...

 

Sync sighed.

 

...Oh well.

It had been an unauthorized mission anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I don't remember if that room had 3 doors and an upper catwalk. Just roll with it and pretend it does.
> 
> ....I'm tired. Time to go to sleep now! XD


	10. Attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels OOC to me, so here’s hoping it’s still readable... :(  
> I’ve been tearing my hair out trying to make this story fit to canon, but finally gave up before I go bald. Alas this story will not break canon at Akzeriuth as originally planned. It’s breaking canon NOW and I hope you guys will still enjoy it. I can hope! T.T

_...what..._

_..ev-...wai-...see..._

_...how...th...take.._

_...wa...up..._

“Oh, I think he’s coming to.”

“About time.”

“Master?”

_...But Mieu had left..._

“Master!  Are you okay... does your tummy hurt?  Can you—oh!”

_Mieu was here!_

This might not be real...  But it felt so real...  Mieu was fuzzy and warm and _safe_.  Luke sobbed into blue fur.

_Mieu hadn’t abandoned him?_

“D-don’t leave me... Please don’t leave me...”

“I’m here, Master...  I won’t leave.”

“Please d-don’t... don’t leave me again... I’m sorry! I’ll be good... I didn’t mean it... so... p-please don’t...”

“Tear told me this spooky place is very dangerous for Cheagles!  I shouldn’t have run off.  You got lost because of that. I’m so sorry, Master!”

“W-won’t leave?”

“I won’t leave, Master!”

Luke cried even harder.

 

* * *

 

 

Jade sighed.  He doubted he’d be able to get the details out of him anytime soon at this rate...

On their way up to the roof, Luke still hadn’t uttered a word, still clinging to that Cheagle.

At least he was done crying all over it for now. 

 

Still, going into a battle with him like this would not only be risky, it would be foolish.

“Luke.”

Luke turned slightly and blinked at him.

Ah, good.  It was about time that he finally got a response.

“Are you recovered enough to fight?  Or do you need to sit this one out?”

“Yeah, Luke.  We’ll be fine if you still need time to recover.”

Finally, some of that confidence had returned to those eyes.  Luke shook his head.

“I...  I’m okay now.  Sorry about that, guys.”

“Well, at least you’re feeling better now.  Sure took you long enough, squirt.”

“As if _you’re_ one to talk about height,” Guy huffed, shaking his head.

“Hey!”

“Jade,”  Luke’s gazed down at the bundle in his arms. “As long as this one is safe...”

Jade nodded.  The meaning was clear enough.

_If the creature was ever harmed in front of him, Luke wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep it together._

It was _Guy_ that answered, “You let _me_ worry about that and just focus on the battle, okay? Mieu will be fine. We’ll all look out for him.”

Luke glanced at Guy, startled. “T-thank you, Guy.”

“No problem.”

“Mieu will be fine, Luke.”

“Yup, we got it covered,” Anise said.

“I’ll be okay, Master!”

“Good... Thank you.”

Jade gave him an assessing glance.  It was better to be safe than sorry.  “Well?”  _Have you regained control?_

Luke nodded.

 

* * *

 

Anise was the first to reach the top of the stairs, and thus the first to walk out onto the roof.

The Griffon swooped in.... and got a kick to the head for its efforts to snatch her.

“Geez! What the hell, Gloomieta?”

“I’m not Gloomy! Be quiet, Anise!”

“Please, Arietta...  Let the man go.”

“I... I’m sorry Ion. But I can’t.” Arietta hugged her doll tighter.

Luke was the last to walk out.

It was decided that Mieu would wait on the stairs, just inside the door. Luke was glad of that. He should be safe there.

“You!  Finally!  You took too long.... I was waiting and waiting!”

Luke blinked and cocked his head but said nothing.

“You killed Mommy!  You killed so many of my friends!”

“I’ve killed a lot of things.  You’ll have to be more specific then that.”

“How dare you? I’ll kill you!”

“You mean you’ll have your _friends_ kill me. Don’t get me wrong, they’ll certainly _try_ , but they’ll fail, and then they’ll just be dead because you were too much of a coward to come after me yourself,”  Luke sounded tired and bored. “There’s nothing wrong with that though.  You are smart. Better _them_ then you, right?”

“I’m not a coward!  How dare you...  How dare...”

It was so tiring when they didn’t follow the script...

“Can we just get on with this, please?”

Arietta was so frustrated she was on the verge of tears, shaking with anger, squeezing her doll.

“How can you just stand there and act like it’s nothing... I hate you!”

“Look, we’ve been over this. If you had called them back, they’d still be alive.  I did give you a chance. And what did you expect? I’m not going to let them maul me just because you want me to roll over and die. Does ‘Kill or be killed’ ring a bell? If you don’t want to risk them dying when I defend myself, then just come at me yourself.”

“Shut up... I hate you... I hate you! I hate you I hate you!”

“Why is it always this way with you?” Luke sighed, giving up.

The battle erupted and the group sprang into motion.

Tear stayed back and meted out support and healing.  Guy, Luke and Anise took front while Jade supplied small-scale, crowd-control Fonic Artes from the back.

Arietta had thrown strategy out the window and was gunning entirely for Luke’s blood, Fonic Artes blasting out searing and deadly. The Griffon too, ignored all else but the red-head.

Her tunnel-vision may have made the battle end that much sooner, but on the other hand Luke had not come out unscathed under the onslaught.

 

\---

Thankfully, Luke didn’t have to work much to ignore Van’s entrance as Arietta was spared by Ion and taken by the man.

“I’m okay now, Tear.  Thanks.”

Tear sighed. “Alright, but don’t push yourself...”

“Are you alright now, Master?”

“Yeah, just a little dizzy still. “

“Well, of course you are!  That was quite the hit you took.” Tear shook her head, exasperated.

“Guy took the brunt of it,”  Luke reminded her. Speaking of which...  Luke turned to look at Guy. “Thanks for the save, by the way.  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.  Tear has already healed the worst of it.”

“Don’t push yourself, Guy.”

“I know my limits, Luke. I won’t.”

“You could learn a thing or two from him, Luke.” Luke easily recognized the dull _‘I am so very-not-pleased-with-you’_ vibein Jade’s voice.

Luke nodded but didn’t respond; life had drifted away from him.

 

* * *

 

 

**On the ship to Chesedonia**

 

“Luke... What are you doing here?”

The Replica sat on the rail overlooking the vast ocean waters seemingly unperterbed with the sheer danger of his reckless and precarious position.  The fool leaned back without care and swung his feet back and forth with giddy enthusiasm.

_If I had not intervened in time then Largo would have succumbed to his wounds. Yes, I admit that I too, found it hard to believe when he told me that it was the Replica that had wounded him so gravely, and yet I witnessed the boy tearing my soldiers into literal pieces soon after..._

“Oh my. How careless of you. Keep it up and I might be forced to think you’re suicidal.”  The Replica burst into hysterical giggles.

“What in Yulia’s name has gotten into you lately, Luke!? You have avoided me without explanation for the last time!  What is the meaning of this behavior?  I thought I taught you better!”

The reaction was explosive.

Van’s senses were immediately overwhelmed with pain and it took a few minutes of blinking back agonized tears before he noticed the weight keeping his limbs pinned and the sheer black blotting out the sky.  All he could see was a pair of glowing red eyes.

 _“The only thing you taught me was how easy it is to kill you, pitiful wretch!”_ The voice was hissed with _venom_ , hatred the likes of which Van had never thought he’d hear from a voice that was not his own. “ _Give me a reason for your continued breathing... Beg! Beg me,wretched filth...  lest I slip and tear out your throat with my teeth!_ ”

His throat already felt like it was being crushed and torn.

_“How many times do I have to kill you before you stay dead?!”_

The eyes glanced up and suddenly Van was free to fling himself backwards, sword already drawn, and wheeze in much needed breaths of air.

The soldier running up was quick to react to the situation. “Sir!  Are you alright?  What has happened here?”

The Replica stood unmoving a few feet away, his weapon still sheathed and those eyes still aflame with unnatural red light, now glittering with _amusement._ There were also specks of fresh blood dripping down from the Replica’s lips and eyes. The sight was enough to awaken a cold knot of dread within Van.

_“Well? I am fine with an audience.”_

Van waved the man away, unable to take his gaze from those blazing eyes for even a second.

“Who are you?”  Van choked out, and couldn’t even spare the energy to feel frustrated at how pathetic he sounded in the face of this impossibility. 

The _entity_ laughed, for surely it could not be a pathetic Replica.

 _“Bah. The correct question is ‘what am I.’  A Replica.”_ The Replica sneered. _“Or didn’t you know?  Wretched man, you screeched that at me often enough and now you forget what it is you've made?”_ Luke tsk’ed.

“You can’t possibly be a Replica!”

“ _And yet here we are with you cowering before me once again_. _So many worlds, and I have killed you in **all of them** , me, the Replica of whom you have always shunned._” Luke rolled his eyes. “ _Next you’ll be telling me my name isn’t Luke.”_

“You... You are truly Luke?  Impossible.”

“ _And yet here we are_ ,” Luke repeated, dryly.  “ _You seem to be getting dumber every time I meet you if you still can’t grasp such basic concepts.... Frankly, I never thought it possible and yet you clearly have degraded in intellect_. _Or perhaps that is the way of a bigot_?”

“Enough!  Enough of this! How dare you speak to me like this!“

_“Yes indeed.  I will not let you throw me away as you have in the past.  No, I will end you here. You will become a splatter of dull paint on the wall; to dry, peel and be forgotten.  Just as you deserve.”_

“You say you have killed me many times? You expect me to believe such nonsense?”

“ _I don’t have to explain myself to the likes of you.”_

The Replica advanced, still not even bothering to draw his sword, his unnatural eyes ablaze with bloodlust.

 

* * *

 

 

“Luke! Please, stop it!” Guy barked, desperation ruling over his vocal chords. “Enough! Enough already!”

Guy had no idea why he was still alive, why the boy was still _letting_ him restrain him, when he could just as easily kill him.

Gods, why was he even doing this...  He thought he knew this boy, was friends with this boy....  Yulia... A monster... A replica and a monster...

The sound that came out of Luke’s throat sent intense waves of naseusa rushing through Guy once again, and it took everything he had to stay conscious and to keep the pressure on those wrists in place. If he hadn’t been already crouching over the boy’s body then he he had no doubt that he would have collapsed.

“Gailardia...” The overwhelming pressure, that horrible mind numbing terror... Van was feeling it too, and barely conscious himself, but unlike with Guy, the... the _replica_ hadn’t been holding back with Van.  What’s worse, if Luke had wanted him dead, he’d be dead already. No, he hadn’t been holding back, he’d been skillfully _playing_ with Van, batting him aside as if he were a ragdoll and not one of the most skilled swordsmen in the world. Prolonging it...That thought brought on a fresh wave of racking tremors through Guy’s body. 

The only reason Van was still alive was because Guy had intervened, and now it was obvious that he was being humored by the red-eyed boy as Guy struggled to keep the Replica in place.  The Replica was _humoring_ him. It wanted Van to suffer, to die, _not_ Guy, but Guy was still in the way. That’s all this was.  A twisted sort of mercy. 

“Run, Vandesdelca! I want to settle our differences, but not like this! Run!“ Guy heard the other man’s movement, a shuffling, limping gait. The air became icy and the darkness even thicker when the man was a safe distance away. Guy struggled to breathe. 

“ _You...  You are betraying me yet again_?”  Even that inhuman voice was enough to cause pain.  What in Yulia’s name was this? “ _How many times does this make, Guy?”_  

“Luke please...”  Was he crying?  Guy couldn’t be sure.  His face was so raw with stinging pain... This didn’t make any sense! Any further attempts at rational thought fled. 

There shouldn’t be hands in the dark.  The boy he thought to be his friend should not have that eye color... The darkness was crawling over him, like writhing worms, Guy shuddered and cried out when those slithering hands squeezed. 

“I thought you were my friend, Luke...  Why do you think I’m still here?” 

 _“Lies. No friend of mine would protect that monster.”_

“The only monster I see here is you! Your actions not your words are what make you what you are!” Guy screamed, clinging desperately. The world of darkness threatening to smother him seemed to flinch back at his words.  “I disagree with Van’s actions, yes. I disagree, but damn you, no one should die like that! You were torturing him, batting him around like a piece of meat, using your power without restraint and crushing him into the ground until he snapped!  That’s not justice, that’s sick revenge, the actions of a bully! There’s no meaning in that!” 

“ _And what of my suffering?  Am I to just sit here and take his abuse yet again?  To let him use me and be treated as a throwaway tool_? _You know nothing! You, who have never been alone!”_  

“Is that what you think?  That you’re alone?  I’m right here next to you...!” Guy shouted. “I know... I know you’ve been through a lot. I _know_ that, Luke and Gods I’m trying to keep that in mind right now instead of giving in to the revulsion... but damn it all you can’t just act like a homicidal maniac and then turn around and expect loyalty! Hell, in a way, you’re acting just like Van! Killing those that have wronged you is _not_ the answer, it will _never_ be.” 

“Then what else am I supposed to do?! I have lived this loop too many times and I’m sick of it! The only constant is the pain and your betrayals! I want to rest!  The peace that I have rightfully earned... I _need_ it, Guy... I can’t do this again not when I know that it will all just happen again. There’s no point anymore!” 

Guy let out a gasp when the claws let go and the darkness and pain ebbed. They both lay there for a few minutes shuddering and sobbing under the stars. 

It took a while before either of them found their voice, but Guy managed it first. “Trust goes both ways, Luke. I know we’ve hurt you. I know that Natalia has done horrible things to you. And Jade. And Anise. And _me_... But we _aren’t_ those same people in this time.  They were all different, right? So this time is different too. _We_ are different, but so are you. You need to try to trust us. You need to _tell_ us what you’re thinking and feeling.  How are we supposed to trust you if we don’t know you _,_ this new _you,_ if you don’t even try _?_  

“I’m afraid.” Luke whispered quietly. Calmly. More calm then he had any right to be. “I’ve already broken Jade’s promise again.  You... you are right.”  Luke sighed. 

“And you have every right to be afraid, but Luke... You are _better_ than this. I know the _real_ you is in there somewhere. That selfish, spoiled brat I knew is still in there but all grown up.  A little roughed up after all you’ve been through, sure, but you’re just as kind and compassionate as he always was. After all, the possibility of our betrayal wouldn’t hurt you as much as it does if you didn’t care about us deep down, right?” 

“I... guess. I often dream of us all being friends, in a world where these events never spiraled so out of control.” Luke admitted. “I think I can finally admit that I’m a coward, though. Killing them was _easy_... but trying to change things without using that power was too hard to think about.” 

“You’re not perfect and that’s okay.” Guy shrugged.  “Jade and I are here. We understand and we want to help, but you need to let us in. I swear to you Luke, I won’t abandon you. I’m not going to be happy if you pull that shit again,  but I won’t abandon you, okay? So, get that out of your head already, idiot.” 

“Guy... I can’t control it anymore.” 

“What?” 

“The thoughts.  That darkness.  Those voices in my head.  I thought I had erased it back when I first saw Van again... but it’s back. I can hear them again...  I think ... I think they are even stronger now. I didn’t even realize they had taken control until I started to hear your voice...” 

“So, if you didn’t erase them... then what _did_ you do?” 

Luke sighed.  “I don’t know, but I think I definitely need to face the music and go tell Jade what happened. He’s going to be pissed.” 

Guy snorted.  “I’d be surprised if he wasn’t. I’m still a bit upset myself, to be honest.  That was terrifying.” It was only when Luke helped Guy up that he noticed the extent of the damage. He had to support nearly all of Guy’s weight too. 

“I hurt you...”  Luke noted, horrified and filled with guilt.  

“Yeah, you did.” 

“I could have killed you!” 

“But you _didn’t_.” 

The rest of the trip went by in silence.  

 

* * *

 

                                  **Jade’s fury was a thing of terror in its own right.**

 

* * *

 

“So, to summarize... you broke your promise yet _again_ , went out of control, _again_ , almost killed the Commandant, and almost killed Guy this time too...  And you, Guy, eavesdropped and know who Luke is, what he can do, and what he has done.”

“Yes, yes, and yes.” 

“Well, what a fine mess this is.”

“Among other things,”  Guy agreed cheerfully. 

 

“I think we should get Tear...” Luke muttered.

“Don’t think you’re getting out of this that easy, man. Besides this is more important.  I’ll be fine for a little bit longer, Luke.”

“He has blood coming out of his _eyes_ , Guy! And _you_ are bleeding in more places then I care to count. ”

“Yeah, well, he already told me they don’t hurt anymore and he can see fine!  He’s also breathing steady!  And I _am_ fine!  I know my limits.  For Yulia’s sake we can’t drag the rest of them into this until we have a plan!”

“And there won’t be a plan if either of you dies!” 

 

 _It’s odd_ , Luke thought, _being_ _the only one in the room that had not lost his calm yet for the first time._

 

“It can wait. Guy needs medical attention more than I do, at any rate.  I heal fast.” Luke told them solemnly. “Though I must say, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you act so clearly out of character, Jade.”

The argument ceased as quickly as it had begun and both whirled to stare down at him. Luke had slumped into the corner and rested his head on his knees during the lecture. 

Them staring at him as if he were a curious new discovery was also a first... 

“I’m surprised you haven’t suggested killing me yet,” Luke added. Jade actually had his mouth slightly agape, a sight that would have brought him to giggles if this were any other timeline. 

 

 _There are many firsts happening today_ , Luke mused. 

 

Jade and Guy both glanced at one another and then back at Luke.

Even the boy’s _voice_ seemed different, older even. The boy was managing to stop himself from entering hysterics, in fact he didn’t even seem to be even nearing anything resembling panic at all... and yet Jade noted something else, something deeper that was infinitely more unsettling.

This was _not_ the same boy that he had met months ago. The eyes were the same shade of green, yet they were vastly different even still. There was no more desperate craze, flailing blindly for assurance and existence and hope.These eyes, they were calm, deeply calm, aged, mature, and all but shuttered together aside utterly hopeless exhaustion. 

“Who are you?”

The boy looked at him calmly, resigned and unblinking. 

“Are you being sarcastic again?” Luke sighed. “Maybe my death is the only option after all."

Guy actually flinched when he saw Jade’s expression, it was the most expressive he had ever seen the Colonol. Behind his glasses, the man’s eyes had turned _frigid_. 

“This cycle was hopeless to begin with. Lorelai will never be appeased no matter what I do, but surely even that entity will grow bored and give in to the inevitable eventually.”

Jade had moved before Guy could even react. Luke felt his head snap to the side but didn’t register the pain or shock for what felt like too long. He felt himself grip his throbbing jaw and gaping at Jade’s fury. 

“How many times do we have to tell you that you are not alone before you understand the concept, you insufferable brat?” Jade hissed, gripping the boys shirt in a tightly clenched fist.

“Don’t get me wrong, I was getting tempted to do the same... but if you hit him again we will have _words_.” Guy narrowed his eyes at the Colonol before turning back to Luke. “I didn’t take you to be a quitter, Luke. One little accident and you give up?  That’s pathetic, you’re better than that.” 

“I’ve been through worse. One little punch isn’t something to start a war over, Guy.” Luke replied.

“You know, Jade... He’s kind of a drama queen.” 

“Don’t patronize me.  I almost killed you!”

“ _Almost._ You stopped when it counted.” Guy shrugged. “What happened to all that confidence? One near-miss and suddenly you have no control and no hope? You have more control then you give yourself credit for, Luke.” 

“I couldn’t control anything.  I couldn’t even control my awareness half the time unless Jade nudged me out of it!"

“Past tense, Luke. Jade will continue to nudge you out of 'it'. Hell, I’ll nudge you out of it if it actually happens again, which I doubt. I wish you could hear yourself Luke. You sound a lot different now. Whatever that was that happened out there, it did something to you, but for the better I think.” 

“You can’t know that.” Luke sighed. “I’m not magically sane all of a sudden. I could go off the deep end at a moment’s notice.” Luke narrowed his eyes at Guy suspiciously. “ Why are you downplaying this so much?”

“I’m not downplaying anything. Of course this is a serious situation and we still need to be cautious, but there is _hope_. You’re not alone all of a sudden, you still have us. We’re not going anywhere. We can work through this together.” 

“It only took one thing for you all to abandon me. It will happen again. It always has.” 

Jade had been silent, but finally he relaxed the fist, stepped back, and said, “Is that what the voices kept telling you?” 

“They still _are_. I thought I had erased them... I thought...”  Finally a note of panic. Jade counted that as a success, they were finally starting to break through his stubborn new walls. 

“We are not those people. This timeline is not the timelines of the past.  You are _here_ , not _there_. Now, maybe a past version of myself always leapt at the chance to offer your death as the only solution, but frankly that past version was a fool. I am _not_ that man and I have enough facts to come to the conclusion that your death is not the solution.  Lorelai would not have intervened as many times as he had if you were only part of the problem, but not required for the solution.” 

“He’s right. We’re different people. We know your circumstances now and we believe you. Abandoning you would not help us arrive at a solution.  We need to work together or this is just going to keep happening.”

“I...I’ll try...but  I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen... anymore...”

“And you don’t have to.” Jade reasoned. “Pretending that you are fine is not the answer either.  We need to know what you are feeling, what you are thinking, when you are truly _not_ fine, and when you truly are.... We need to have all the variables to solve this equation.  And in return, you need to trust us to have your back. We can’t work together if you are always going to assume we do not have your best interest in mind when we _clearly_ do. We are _not_ those people you knew before, remember?”

 

 Luke sighed and the first hint of a smile, a _real_ smile, began to shape his lips. Ah, there. They had gotten through to him.

 

“I’ve put you both through a lot haven’t I?  I’m sorry... and thank you. For sticking with me despite it all."

Guy snorted and pulled him into a hug, whispering, “We’ll figure this out, kid.  You’ve come this far.  _We’v_ e come this far...  It’s too early to give up.” 

“I...I have to tell the others everything... Tear needs to take a look at Guy.. and... I think I need to talk to Ion.”

“ _We_.” Guy reminded him. 

“The Fon Master?  Why?” Jade had settled himself into one of the three beds, still looking as alert as only Jade could... even with his eyes half-mast and glasses placed at the bedside. 

“I think we agree that I can’t control this power. The Fon Master is the most capable at installing unbreakable barriers. Maybe this is just another something that he can seal away?”

“Hmm, a decent possibility.”

“Worth a shot.” 

 

“What about Van...”

“What about him? He’s not going to blow the whistle and he’s probably already sworn that guard to secrecy.”

“How do you know?” Jade inquired from the bed.

“I know Van. He’ll keep it quiet and stew on it for a bit. He’s not one to make rash decisions.”

“We'll worry about Van later. For now we all need to get some rest.” 

 

“Best plan I’ve heard all day.” Guy shakily got to his feet. “Alrighty, time to head to Tear’s room before I pass out.”

“What was that about knowing your limits?” Guy didn’t need to glance at the man to know that the colonel was looking smug.

“Oh, shut up.” 

“I’ll go get her, Guy. Sit back down before you fall down.”

“Aye aye.” Guy lazily saluted the boy and then did just that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway:  
> Earlier, he had merely erased the part that linked them and binded them together, but now that they are separate... one can potentially control the other with no consequences. Ruh roh! As Kiomori said, Luke blasting away a piece of himself was just the bandaid over the bigger injury. >:)  
> Also: When the other side of himself forcefully ripped away and took over, it took the hysteria, and sociopathic homicidal craze with it. Maybe we’ll get to see who Luke really is now that he has separated that piece from himself. Let’s just hope it doesn’t take over his body again. ;)
> 
> And as always: At the end of the day, this is all Lorelai's fault! heheheh


	11. Slight Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Amazing little sister did a B-day fanart for me:
> 
> What he thinks of them: https://i.imgur.com/3lvY6Ae.png

Guy sat comfortably with his eyes closed as he listened to the arguing.  Tear had healed him as thoroughly as she could, but even so it had soon become obvious that he wouldn’t be up for anything strenuous anytime soon.  Even sitting up became too much for him and he had been forced to lean back when the fatigue became overwhelming.

Occasionally Guy opened his eyes at a few loud exclamations, but Guy was more than content to get what little rest he could.  As it was becoming increasingly obvious that it would be a long night, indeed...

Anise, the most vocal of the arguers, was pacing irritably at the edge of the two beds, gesticulating expressively. She wasn’t taking the news of them learning that she was a traitor well. Most of the past hour had been her expressing her displeasure and mockery with the thought of time travel, but now she was on the defensive once her actions had come to light. Luke wasn’t doing much of the arguing, surprisingly enough, leaving the debating to Jade mostly and only commenting occasionally when it came to knowledge of past timelines. All things considered, the boy had kept his temper in check rather admirably.

 

“Be that as it may, I’d rather you not, Fon Master. Having a spy to feed false information is much more valuable to our situation then a loose end abandoned and allowed to cause more trouble at the next possible location.”

“Hmph! You expect me to just suddenly throw my parents to the Ligars because it’s convenient for you?”

“I don’t trust you in the slightest and as for the latter, not having you thrown behind bars at the next pit stop is most certainly more convenient for you if your parents are what you are concerned about.” Anise let out a sound of frustration. “ I will be present when you write the letter, to dictate what is written, see that it does not have any hidden messages, and furthermore I will be with you when you have it sent. You will be watched constantly and if at any point it is deemed that you have betrayed the Fon Master _again_ , then you will be silenced.”

“Colonel-!”

“This is the your _Guardian’s_ second chance, Fon Master,” At the reminder of the post that Ion, in a rush of emotion, had almost removed from her, Ion frowned.  “She will not receive a third chance.”

Meanwhile the Guardian was still seething. “Behind bars?! So, you expect the guards to believe such drivel?  Oh yeah, go ahead, that’ll be hilarious to see.”

“It wouldn’t be much of a stretch of authority for the Fon Master to speak for your actions. They needn’t even see you beforehand, it is after all an Ex-Gurdian’s  word against the Fon Master’s.”

“Why you-!”

“ _Anise_.”  _Oh my_ , Guy mused. He hadn’t heard that tone from the Fon Master before. “You’ve betrayed me.”

“You actually _believe_ them? They have no proof!”

“Luke has provided knowledge of things he could _not_ _possibly_ _know_. Inner workings that only I, The _Fon Master_ , would know. I have no reason not to believe him. And, as much as it pains me, your defensiveness speaks volumes. Look me in the eye right now and tell me that they are wrong. That you have not been reporting to him. That Mohs’ is not holding your parents effectively hostage.”

“Ion... I...”

 If you willingly go along with this, your parents’ situation will ultimately not change, but it will not become _worse_ either _._ Will you do this for me?”

“I... Yes, Ion.”

“Thank you, Anise.”

“Yes, most reasonable of you, Guardian. You have my thanks as well.”

“I’m not doing this for you, you son of a--!”

“... _Jade_.”  Desperate, almost a whimper, and whatever Anise had seen had made her breathe catch in her throat.

Guy’s eyes flew open and he glanced warily at Luke.

Oh. _Not good._

The kid was trembling like a leaf.

Jade, not one to waste words, bless him, merely inclined his head toward the door and the boy all but fled before he could lose control. “Guy, go after him.”

 _‘What, not making Guy explain it for once?  How magnanimous of you, Jade.’_ Luke had chuckled dryly earlier, even though Jade and Guy had not understood it and at further curious prodding, Luke had elaborated... Apparently, it was a thing the Colonel often did in one or many of the past timelines.  It seemed the price for not having to explain was instead to play babysitter even if he had been injured only a few hours before?  _“We are_ not _those people, remember?”_ He hadn’t quite meant for it to come out as harsh as it did, but after Luke looked properly chastised and, dammit all, so guilty and depressed, Guy caved and gave his red mop of hair an apologetic pat and that had been that.

Guy rolled his eyes and left the room soon after.  Great, as much as he didn’t want to constantly be reminded of what their other selves had done in some other time, even Guy was starting to compare the two versions as if it was a normal thing to do.

Thankfully he hadn’t gone far. Guy found him huddled in one of the nearby hallway corners, shaking and gasping.

Right. Guy was dealing with a panicky kid that has been betrayed and assaulted to the breaking point in the past, sometimes by yours truly.  Hoo boy. Go slow, make yourself heard, and if you must use physical contact, then only do so with permission or at least give a warning first.

Guy made sure his shoes scuffed the polished floor a few times as he approached, slowly. Once he got close enough, Guy crouched down. “Hey, Luke.”

Luke’s breathe hitched. “S-sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You did great in there. I’m proud of you for holding it together for so long.”

“It’s... I dunno.. bit easier to stay calm... maybe.. but...” The kid broke off with another gasp and tremble.

“Baby steps.” Guy reminded him.

“Hah..!” Luke huffed a laugh and shook his head. “Yeah, you say that but... it’s easier now, yeah, but it was still a _mess_.  I understand that this way she’ll be useful... I get that!” Another tremor rushed through the kid and he shook his head violently as if to clear it. “...but.. but Ion’s blood is on her hands. I don’t trust... _her._.. _not._.. ngh.”

Still too close to a panic attack then.

“ _Breathe_ , Luke. There’s no rush.”

“I can’t...!”

“Yes, you can. I’m going to touch your shoulder now.” He squeezed it gently, rubbed his thumb down slowly as the skin under him tensed and shook. His other hand came up to stroke his back. “There. _Easy_. I’ve got you, Luke.”

“You’re not them... I know that. I trust you both... Even after all... even... if everything is screaming that I _shouldn’t._.. I have hope.. but her...  _never_ her!  Even if Jade’s plan makes sense... even still... What if she... and _you_!  Gods... even now her head is _still_ a convenient cork to pop.”

 

Guy winced. Whoof.

 

“It’s quite the dilemma alright, but you have our word.  We’ll keep an eye on her. We’re not going anywhere kid. We won’t break your trust and you won’t betray ours. Leaver her to us, okay kid?”

“Yeah.. _Yes._.. I will. I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t.” Guy gave Luke’s shoulder another encouraging squeeze.

 

\----

 

The expression the Colonel had given him on their return was one of smug amusement. After Luke had calmed down, the exhaustion and ache had made it apparent that walking by his own devices was no longer an option. As it was, Luke walked him back with an arm over his shoulder and a steady hand at his back. After Luke had finished helping him ease back into the chair, he glared at the Colonel.

“Not one word.”

It was subtle but Guy still didn’t miss that infuriating _smirk,_ before the Colonel returned to the addressing the question that had just been asked.

“I don’t think it too beneficial to stray that far from the timeline. Yes, we will be changing things, and while the scale of these potential changes is arguable, I still believe they are small enough in scale that it won’t uproot the flow of events too drastically. Keeping the changes small, but steady is much more preferable to one mountain that shakes the foundation so much that predicting anything after would become a fool’s errand.”

“I agree with the Colonel.” Tear said. “That and I promised him I’d bring him home. Sure, now that I know what he’s been through, he may not choose to stay there, and it might not be easy for him, but I still believe it to be the correct course of action. That and if we just took him away with no explanation it could easily be mistook for kidnapping.”

“You... You believe me?” Guy felt the tug of sympathy hit him full force again. So much desperate, vulnerable hope in that question. So much wary disbelief.

“Not entirely, to be honest...  It’s all very...  Still, there’s not really any other possible explanation for how you know all of this, so I don’t really have much choice.”

Luke nodded, gaze unreadable. “Fair enough.” The Replica turned to Jade.  “So ultimately, Baticul is still the end destination?”

“Yes.”

“And when I’m asked to act as goodwill ambassador again?”

“Pfft. How can you be so sure of that?”

To Guy’s surprise, Luke actually addressed the girl instead of leaving it to Jade, granted he didn’t actually look at her.. “There’s a passage in the Sixth Fonstone that mentions me going to the mining town that the peace treaty mentions. Or more specifically it mention _Asch_ going there, but seeing as I’m a perfect copy of him, I suppose it’s still truth as far as they are concerned.”

“Right. Might as well get some of the details ironed out now that you are here. You mentioned it was a proposal?  What were the conditions?”

 “You already know. I already told you, remember?”

“Yes, yes, but explain it again for the good of the class.”

One red brow lifted as Luke gave Jade an unimpressed stare. “...That if I were to travel to Akzeriuth to act as goodwill ambassador then in return they would release Van from his cell.”

“Hm. I’m sensing a ‘but’ in there. Do feel free to enlighten us.”

Luke stared at him a bit longer, before Luke rolled his eyes and humored him.  “ _But_ seeing as I’m perfectly content to let the bastard rot.. as soon as they make the proposal I’ll probably laugh, dramatically stomp my foot, and then inform them that they can take their beloved little score and _choke on it_. No offense, Ion.”

Guy snorted.

“Er.. None taken.”

“And if Van is not apprehended?”

“Then I will still tell them to choke on it, but, admittedly the dialogue would be slightly different and perhaps a tiny bit more polite.”

Guy had noticed it earlier, but looking at her now just reaffirmed his suspicions. Van was her _brother_ after all. She was taking it as well as could be considered, but the woman still hadn’t said a word, and her mouth was stuck in a thin frown. Guy figured he’d have to keep an eye on her too, after this. Just to be safe.

“I doubt they’ll let that slide easily.” Guy cut in.

“Of course not. But I _can’t_ do it again. I can’t go there and see all those walking corpses. I don’t want to see it again. I can’t... I can’t...”

“Understandable, but you’re not alone.  At the very least I will walk you through some possible scenarios and we can decide which to take. But throwing you into the thick of it wouldn’t help, so instead I want you to get used to the idea of accepting it just in case it comes to that.”

“Jade... I can’t... _I can’t_...” Ah, the trembling was back. Guy’s heart went out to the kid. Talking about a walking nightmare couldn’t be easy and the kid was handling it well so far.

Jade held up his hand. “ _You will not be alone._ And think of it this way, now that we are forewarned about his plan we can do something about it.  It won’t be easy, sure, but I’m certain we can find a way to evacuate without anyone else being the wiser at the very least.  Just think about it, it’s still a long way off after all.”

“...right.”

“This is a lot to take in.” Tear finally spoke up. “I.. need some time to think and it has been a long day.  I suggest we call it a night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy.... this fic has become a mountain to me, but that's my fault for not planning it all out before I started, a really bad habit of mine. I was planning on a huge chapter to make up for all the guilt for all the waiting you guys have had to do, but it's impossible when depression hits me this bad, so I'll just post what I have written for now. (GAH, I hate you depression! piss off already! wish there was an off-switch sometimes lul)
> 
> Now don't get me wrong, I am a stubborn little twerp and I'm not giving up by a long shot. I will get this thing done if it kills me! Writing this fic is a blast and I can't wait to get to the good stuff, but I don't want to RUSH, and that right there is damn hard, but brainstorming is by far the hardest part for me.
> 
> Posting a smaller chapter right now will help to relieve some of my built up OCD-neurosis-whatever-it-is, and Anyway, I just hope I'm managing to keep your interest still despite all the frakkin' waiting and I just wanted to give a double, HUGE thank you to those of you that are still with me despite the ridiculously slow updates. You guys rock! I can't wait to reach Akzeriuth with you all! \o/


	12. Forewarning

The wind was thick with swept sand and the heat was sweltering and sticky. The urge to wipe his brow was strong, and his thick uniform certainly didn’t help make the weather any less uncomfortable, yet Van found his thoughts too jumbled for even Chesedonia’s miserable climate to distract him from the overwhelming problem that had presented itself. The doll was far too unconcerned, too calm... too skillfully masking himself of emotions in a complete contrast to his previous mannerisms.

 

_Well? Make a scene, little bleater._

 

Van startled a little. Was he hearing things now? Frustrated, he shook his head to clear it. _Pull yourself together_ , he thought as his eyes shot to the boy. Luke was speaking softly to the Cheagle and petting its head gently. “Yes, Mieu. There is a lot of sand here.”

“Yes, Master! It’s so sandy!”

Van saw his sister hide a smile behind her hand.

This was a serious problem. He knew his generals were not ones to exaggerate and yet he had been careless, arrogant and assumed that the problem would be dealt with easily. This was an impossible scenario so how was he to know of the significance of this new threat? People do not change in such a short time! It doesn’t _happen_. The entirety of this charade was inexcusable, unnerving, unforgivable, _impossible_... And yet it had happened, it _was_ happening, and it would not be tolerated. Ignorance would not be tolerated.

Feeling the weight of Van’s stare, the boy looked around until finally, their eyes met once again.

 

_I will gladly finish what I started._

 

The doll.. boy--no, This... this _creature_ looked merely bored, meeting Van’s gaze unflinchingly and with a subtle, faint sense of eerie smugness. It wasn’t just the heat, Van was sure of that now.

There was something inside there, something behind those eyes. Knowledge, power, experience that should not be there... That night replayed endlessly through his vision, images flashed. Those eyes... that sickening, indescribable fear that that gaze had seared into his very bones... The knowledge that he was going to die slowly, batted around like a pinned ragdoll, and too weak to stop it. Weak. Him? Never. Hadn’t he promised himself? Never again.

Yes... Van knew. There was no help for it now, he needed to retreat. The blind little tool had become a weapon right under Van’s nose and he would get an explanation. He would find out every little detail from the boy’s own lips, slowly. He would be excruciatingly thorough, making sure to wring every last detail from that mouth. And when he was done, that smugness would disappear. _Never again._

He had much to think about now, much to plan. He had underestimated the replica, yes, but it would not happen again.

“I'll bid you farewell here. I have to turn Arietta over to the inspector in Daath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting a bit overwhelmed, so thanks to Raplaplue for reminding me that I can post shorter chapters. I feel kind of guilty, but in my defense I did say it was a "snippet" fest. Thanks for all the kudos and comments despite all the waiting. I really appreciate you sticking with me, guys.


	13. Indifference

The heat was getting rather unbearable. Luke was starting to wonder how the massive crowds of people packed alongside stalls and harking their wares to bustling shoppers could stand the heat so effortlessly.

Luke watched blankly as Tear haggled with the arms dealer. They had a decent amount of Gald on them, but it still never hurt to save money where they could. Despite the anxiety of doubt that plagued him, he still couldn’t help but feel relieved that they all knew now.

Luke had a bit of leeway when dealing with them in past timelines do to his status as being an ignorant noble and back then he was never in any rush to rob them of that illusion.  And so, he generally never had to worry about being counted on for the acquisition of supplies and the haggling and all-around hassle that that entailed.

But that was then... and now he had no patience. No willingness to pretend. But now he _didn’t_ need to pretend, to pretend that he was trying to learn something that he already knew. They knew of his fears, They _knew_ of that voice, they knew he still struggled to _care_ about the mundane when so much else was at stake.

Luke saw her then. The men were with her too, flanking her sides subtly from a distance as she weaved through the crowd.

A question hit him suddenly... Had she ever been important?

He felt himself silently shake his head.

 

No, if he were to be honest. Not at all. Not to him, ever, even when he had found out she worked for Asch. She was then as she still is now, insignificant.

Luke couldn’t quite pinpoint what he was currently feeling... surprise perhaps?  It was surprising to see her alive for once.

Was it _care,_ though?  
Doubtful.

Again, Luke shook his head silently.

 

The men were usually corpses first; shielding her and then breaking alongside her.

He had even broken them himself a few times, when his temper and the chaos had become too much to bear and he’d been unable to cope with their mocking jeers and exhausting antics. Though, he was a bit ashamed of it now. Perhaps... not so indifferent?

 

She saw him and her eyes gleamed. It seemed that no matter the timeline, he was always deemed an easy target. She weaved her way toward him and Luke pretended not to noticed.

“Oh, my, what's a fine gentleman like you doing in a place like this?”

Yes. Things... were different now.

 

Luke grabbed her wrist as she went for his pocket, though she wouldn’t have found a wallet anyway.  Tear held their funds.

He felt her stiffen, he heard the hitch of breath, and saw her eyes widen a fraction, and then, only then, did he truly _see_ her.

 

“I was always curious...  Do those two... actually mean anything to you? Or are they dolls?”

A bit rude to ask, outright... And he may only be _mildly_ curious.... it was also extra effort to ask, but... that dumbfounded expression on her face alone made it worth it.

 

Besides, it had been a long, long time since Luke had last been aware enough to see her during a timeline. Chesedonia was always a blur filled with garbled white noise and chaos.

It was kind of refreshing to just bask in the clarity of it all.

 

“What... What did you just say?”

Her eyes had narrowed and all traces of mirth had left her in a rush.  Luke released her wrist and met her gaze solemnly.

“Pardon me. I had mistaken you for someone else.”

 

Luke caught the hesitation before her mirthful, playful facade was back in place.

“Hm. Hmmm.”  She put a finger to her lips and winked at him. “Need to work on your game, kid. That pick-up line was awful.”

 

Was he still indifferent?

 

“I’ll keep that in mind, ma’am.”

 

Perhaps not... No, no he didn’t think so. Being able to _see_ her had... changed things. It made her more _real_ somehow.

Yes. This was really happening, wasn't it?

 

“Hmhm! See that you do.”

 

Yes.

This was _real._

 

“Noir.” He saw that expression again, but took no amusement from it this time. "You should be more careful of God Generals, Noir. Even if they pay you."

 

Her hands brushed her thighs. Luke pretended not to notice that either.

 

“They break dolls, you know. Sometimes, without even meaning to.”

 

She raised a delicate eyebrow. "...Are... are you alright in the head, boy?"

"Jury's still out."

 

The thief barked a laugh and shook her head, hands silkily removing themselves from laced daggers as if they never were.

It was Luke's turn to be surprised when she placed a hand on his head and ruffled his hair, painfully. 

"Well, boy. If today is the day for giving out unwanted advice, then here's some for you. Best keep your screw-loosing babble to yourself from now on, aye? Some folks don't take kindly to crazy, these days."

She leaned back and smiled. There was something a bit off about her expression though.  Her gaze... it wasn't indifferent anymore.

"Understandable. Good day, ma'am."

"Mhmm." 

 

Noir sauntered back into the crowd, and Luke watched silently for a moment before he grew bored of the blur and looked away.

 

 

It seemed things would carry out much the same as it always had for the thieves...except for one small change.

Luke would no longer have the protection of indifference.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When she was sure she had lost his interest, she turned a corner and looked back.

Hm.

Well.  _Well, then..._

Noir was by no means naive, nor was she a fool. Whatever belief of goodwill she had once possessed had vanished soon after the destruction of her hometown with the warmongers still raving on and on about their beloved score in the aftermath. Despite it all, she clawed her way out and survived, and she would keep doing that for herself and for her fellow survivors. The Dark Wings were forever.

Still...

She flicked her wrist, and made the usual signal. Noir didn’t bother to check whether Urushi and York had heeded her command, she trusted them implicitly after all their years of working together and she certainly wouldn’t stop trusting them now.

Yes, as much as she tried, she couldn’t quite squash down the sudden curiosity that had bloomed.

Had anyone else said such rubbish to her face she would wash her hands of them, or, if they couldn’t take a hint, get a bit _pointed_ with them. Except the boy was a dead ringer for one of her current employers.

And yet, the way Asch drawled on and on about his hatred for the other, Noir very much doubted that he’d confide in the object of his hatred.

So that begged the question...

How exactly had he known her name? How had he known of her employer?

 

“The two?”  Now, that... sounded suspiciously like her right hands, her _partners_.

And... dolls?  She clenched her fist. Hmph. Dolls, indeed. Utter rubbish.

 

And yet... The God General referred to his object of disdain as just that, an object. Dreck this, dreck that... 

A twin? Or perhaps... a replica? Asch certainly ranted about replica's often enough...

Hm. Curious indeed.

 

 


	14. Flashback x

_He had failed again. Luke could no longer see their corpses, for they had finally been swallowed by the muck, but he could still feel their sightless eyes boring holes into him. That boy was still reaching for him, even now, wailing as the dark acid ate through his flesh. if Luke looked up he’d surely see him there._

_Luke glanced up and then bit back a whimper._

_Yes...._

_Yes, there he was. Had there ever been any doubt?_

_The blood flowed out of those empty eye sockets and the flesh had already been stripped down to bone, but there it was, that tiny little wrist... still reaching for him._

_The madness crooned._

_He was dragged roughly, but Luke paid the bruising grip no mind. Was he stumbling?  Probably, but he didn’t notice. He had to meet those eyes with his own no matter how much it destroyed him inside. It was the least he could._

_The shove sent him sprawling and he made no immediate attempt to right himself._

_He gazed dully at the smooth metal near where he had landed._

_“This is all your fault!”_

_Luke nodded, “It always is.”_

_She was surprisingly strong when angry. Who’d have thought the princess could so easily haul someone up only to slap them back down?_

_It was kind of... impressive._

_How many hits was that? His cheeks burned now..._

_Someone moved to grab her arm, but Luke couldn’t seem to bring his vision into focus anymore.  Who stopped her... and why?_

_She was screaming at him with such venom now that Luke couldn’t help but watch her with fascination._

_But, another voice in his head was screaming too, and its voice was louder._

****

**_Kill them... Kill them all!_ **

_Luke shook his head. There was no point though, none._

**_Dirty traitors! Here now, here it comes... they are abandoning you!_ **

_They always do. So what?_

_Ten Akzeriuth’s became twenty, became thirty, became forty..._

_A few times he had tried to warn them about the events of the mining town, but most times it failed for once reason another.  Luke made mistakes fixed them on the next try, failed again.... too many times.  Or they wouldn’t believe him at all and no progress would be made, or they would believe him but another piece would be out of place: Sync being there when he shouldn’t, Van being ahead of schedule... It never seemed to work no matter how many times he tried.  One time they thought Luke was in league with Van, because, well, how else had he known?_

_In the aftermath, she didn’t always break down like that.  Sometimes it was other people, ones he hadn’t expected it from. Sometimes Tear acted like  Anise and vice versa.  Their personalities sometimes swapped bodies, and sometimes they had personalities that were from the God Generals and sometimes they had personalities that didn’t match anyone he knew. Sometimes no blows ever fell on him... A few times they just talked at him. Before, when he had tried to defend himself and talk back, sometimes it still didn’t come to blows. It always came to blows when he had tried to warn them beforehand... Sometimes, became too many times and he stopped trying.  He just couldn’t work up the energy for it anymore._

_But then... **This** time no one stopped her until he had lost consciousness._

_When his mind caught up to his body, Yulia city loomed before him. Luke could only think of the exhaustion, the pain... The hopelessness of it all._

_“What... what is the point of all this...?”_

_He couldn’t tell if he was speaking aloud or thinking anymore  because the madness was just too much and drowned out all other sound._

_It had been too many times...  That boy was eaten alive by acid too many times. They all were and they all stared at him even still, even here in Yulia City. He could not escape them even this far from that place... for there they were, waiting for him.  Lined up neatly in a row, standing perfectly still, pointing at him, and asking him why he had let them die again. The sky bled and their blood flowed down the walls like rivers._

_“You're even more pathetic then I though, reject!”_

_That boy’s hair..._

_It was... kind of like his own... like **blood**._

_“Maybe... Maybe killing them all... just this once... will change something.”_

_Luke moved, Asch screamed, and Chaos erupted all around._

_Tear, Jade, Guy... All of them. They fought fiercely, the bled, and they fell._

_Luke stood amongst their corpses. Tear, Jade, Guy.... All of them. They had already lined up with the others. The phantoms stared at him and Luke stared back._

_He lifted the severed arm from the ground with the tips of his fingers and glanced at it in morbid curiosity. In front of him, Asch still writhed on the ground, leaving a red and black trail where his arm used to be._

_The madness consumed Luke. He watched Asch bleed out while he waited for it all to end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been having lots of trouble working up the motivation to write the next chapter, but someone gave me some advice. "Well, how about you just write a past timeline flashback? It's better than nothing right?" Well, can't argue with that! Flashbacks are tons of fun to write and I have tons of them in my head, so it was easy enough! So, sorry that it's not a new chapter, but... at least it's something?
> 
>  
> 
> Also, this song: Birthday Massacre - Destroyer  
> It's kind of scary just how PERFECTLY it fits describing past-timelines-Luke! Like holy crap, spot ON. O:


	15. The Dark Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arg... Finally got something written without getting the urge to rip it up.  
> Also, I added something to the end of chapter 13! Just a heads up.
> 
> It's not that great, but better than nothing. Hope you guys like it and thank you to those of you that are still here!

Upon their arrival to Baticul, Luke was greeted with the comfortingly familiar script of Commander Goldberg and General Cecille welcoming the emissary of peace. There was still a lingering bit of haze clouding out the events, but for the most part Luke could still grasp the conversation. It was still a bit of a struggle to keep his hold on reality in check instead letting things drown out into a blur... Jade was counting on him to keep things in check, so that’s what he would do, even if it would be easier to let everything fade to silence.

Luke clenched his fist.  “I’m taking Ion to the castle.”

Goldberg said his piece and then left with Cecille.

 

Baticul was just as he remembered it, bustling and noisy. The flocks of sheep never seemed to stay still, no matter how many times he had come here, in so many different circumstances. Their bleating truly was endless, wasn’t it? There was some small comfort to be had in that, Luke thought.

The airlift rattled as they exited. His cage gleamed in the light, a rather impressive sight stretching over the west. In all directions, the guards stood in a picturesque display of perfection and order.  Beyond his cage, the Castle loomed in the distance.

 

Many times when he had been here, marching to his doom, it had been a blur, a desperate attempt to keep some of his sanity before things spiraled into Akzeriuth and more was stripped from his flesh, but this time, Luke was aware when he saw them. Had he seen them in other timelines too and gave it no mind? He thought he had. Hadn’t he asked them if they were thieving?

“I should hope you have better sense then to scrounge around for Mohs, Noir. Or perhaps you’re here for Asch?” He had caught them by surprise again. Had he always done so? Or had they been a blur more often than not that he had ignored?

The guard they had been speaking to made a hasty greeting to Ion, and then scurried away as Noir’s eyes found his and narrowed almost imperceptivity.

 

“My, my... fancy meeting you here. I’m starting to wonder if you’re following me, young man.”

It was always jarring when things changed from blur to clarity and sometimes it sent waves of exhaustion over him.

 

“Following...?” He turned his head and thought on it. “I don’t think I’m following you exclusively, Noir. It’s just an old script.”

“This is all well and good, but might you introduce us now, Luke?” Jade’s voice seemed to banish some of the fatigue as it usually did.

“Oh, right... Sorry Jade. These are Asch’s employees, Noir, Urushi, and York. The Dark Wings, this is Colonel Jade of the Malkuth military and--”

“Oh, is that boy Fon Master Ion? A pleasure to meet you!”

 

She had stepped forward, presumably to grab his hands, but Anise was faster and they both exchanged barbs at each other. “Anyway, Fon Master, might I borrow a moment of your.... _Guide’s_ time?” Luke felt her press herself to his back, arms snaking around his chest and trailing up to his cheeks. “We have some things to discuss, you see.”

Luke turned his head to meet her gaze. Well, this was new. Oops?

Jade met his eyes looking unimpressed and Luke shrugged.

Guy made a noise of protest, and Ion looked rather confused, but Jade spoke up before anyone else could, “Well, we do have some pressing business to attend to, so we will be taking our leave. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise!”

 

Urushi was looking around. “Hmm, a bit too open here. How’s about we go down the lift?”

“What a brilliant idea.”

She may have been smiling, but Luke could feel the tension from her as he allowed himself to be dragged to a room at the Inn.

 

The other two followed her lead quickly, obviously knowing Noir well enough to know when something was up. York, yawned. “Surprised he didn’t make a fuss.”

“Why would I?” Luke shrugged and sat down. “Better to get this over with now instead of later.”

 Both York and Urushi tensed from across the room.  Luke seemed to be having that affect on people a lot lately.

Noir, who had been leaning against the wall nearest to the door watching him closely, finally spoke up. “I have a reputation for being discreet, boy. And you have just undermined that spectacularly.” She huffed and shook her head. “Urushi, York. Leave us.”

“Er... Is that... wise?”

“You sure, Noir?”

“Yes, go on.” They looked at each other, shrugged, then left the room.

 

“One of my deals is in secrets, boy, I find them out but am not found out myself... and yet here we are, with you mouthing them off left and right.”

“Hm. Imagine that.” Luke leaned back in his chair, stretching back and baring his throat. “Seems you have a problem on your hands, then” Luke crossed his legs, met her glare, and smirked.“It’s kind of funny...”

“I ain’t laughing, Kid.”

“Really?  You should be.” Luke chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah. Your crazy act is adorable, Kid. Really. But let’s cut the bullshit how about, m’kay?” Suddenly her knife was out and she was twirling it expertly, as if bored, but Luke knew her aim was true. It wouldn’t save her, if he actually wanted her dead, but it was impressive that he probably wouldn’t leave unscathed if it ever came to that. “Who the hell are you and how do you know so much?”

“I’m Asch’s Replica, Not-Luke. I’m from a past timeline where people turned into monsters and everything fell to Hell. Howdy.”

She rounded on him, her second set of knives appearing in the fingers of her other hand as she hissed, “I told you to cut the bullshit!”

“And I have. I’ve actually killed you in this very room several times now for what you did to Ion. Your flunkies too, when they run into the room to defend you.” The door slammed open and York and Urushi were suddenly in front of her, weapons out and to bare. “Ah, here they are. Yes, I’ve killed you all several times right here... One time you even tried to seduce me.” Luke sighed.  “But, I like to think I’ve wizened up a bit.. Asch had you kidnap Ion to prevent him from being in Van’s reach to open the seal in Akzeriuth. I get that now.”

 

* * *

 

 

Noire’s thoughts were racing frantically.

This was lunacy. So maybe the Replica part was true, she’d surmised as much already, but the rest?  She already knew the Kid had some screws loose, but this was rather absurd. As if anyone would believe such nonsense.

And yet, how did he know as much as he did?  There wasn’t any reasonable explanation for his knowledge unless Asch had told him and yet the chance of that being true was a snowball’s chance in hell.

“How did you know that, brat!” Urushi demanded. York kept silent and ready.  She always knew they would have her back just as much as she had theirs, but it was always touching when they proved her right, time and time again.

 “I just told you.”

“You expect us to believe such drivel?!”

The red-head sighed again. “Alright, fine. I’m psychic. Maybe magic was involved. Honestly, who the fuck cares how I know?  Fact is I do know, and I know what you are going to do now too.”

Noir stepped in front of her boys and they called her name. “Oh? By all means, do tell.” She twirled her knives. “I’m just _dying_ to hear it.”

“Asch is having you follow up a lead in Daath--“

“How did you--!” Noir waved her hand and York swallowed down his protest.

“But I’d prefer you do something else for me instead. How about it?  I can pay you.”

Noir mulled it over. It _was_ true. They _were_ going to follow leads in Daath next, damn him.

“Alright.” Noir huffed.  “Alright!” Noire put up her hands in exasperation and sheathed her daggers. “We’ll hear you out.”


End file.
